To find happiness, you have to first discover your own unique personal definition of it, says rugby player Ruby Tui.
For her, it's the sense of purpose and belonging team sport provides.
Ruby Tui Photo: Photosport
Winning gold at last year's Olympics marked the end of an emotional learning journey the Black Ferns Sevens began five years earlier, Ruby tells Kathryn Ryan.
At the 2016 Rio Olympics, where they won a silver medal, the team was under a lot of pressure to simultaneously not let the country down and figure out what they stood for, she says.
"What does culture mean? Why are we here? What do we want to do? We were the first ones to be called the black ferns sevens… you choose yes or no right and we chose yes and put the mahi in."
Being at the Rio Olympics felt like "looking up at a tidal wave", Ruby says, so heading to Tokyo she wanted to be present for every single second.
"I'm playing footie, I love that, and I [was just] so happy to be there … I really wanted to feel everything, talk to everybody."
The uncertainty around the Tokyo Olympics, which was held a year late due to Covid-19, was very difficult but also brought the Black Ferns Sevens together, she says.
While some players were devastated the Games had been postponed, Ruby says she was just happy they hadn't been cancelled.
"In my home in Papamoa, there's a little grass section in our block and I just went out there and kept on training. I was grateful that I had cones and a rugby ball."
Some women on the team were really distraught about the postponement and the pandemic in general, Ruby says, but their coaches created a safe space for a range of emotional reactions.
Establishing this together has helped the Black Ferns Sevens in every challenge they have faced since, she says.
"Let's be real, everyone has an element of fear at the moment with this whole Covid thing - even now, a couple of years on.
"No matter where we were on the spectrum of how we reacted, we had to be really patient with each other… it was a massive moment of compassion empathy and patience within our team and it kind of put all that work we'd been doing for four years to a real test… we were really in tune and we took the time to talk about how we felt.
"I'm really proud that we took the time to not be afraid of those emotions but sit down, discuss them and articulate a plan that worked for everybody."
The way athletes protect their teammates is akin to the way a mother protects her child, Ruby says, and no-one else can really understand the power of that solidarity.
"As an athlete… I will do anything that the team requires of me. I'll run for ten hours if that is what's required of me physically. But at the end of the day, even the worlds greatest athlete is still a human. Used the right way, emotions will take you to places you never imagined you could get."
"All this emotion means we give a damn… these emotions don't make us weak. I can look you in your teary eye and see this dream means as much to you as it does to me."
"It's those looks we have in each other's eyes of 'I'm not going nowhere. I'm staying here till I die or till we win', you know? It turned into this huge strength for us, totally."
Ruby Tui Photo: PHOTOSPORT/ @ Kenji
When the Black Ferns Sevens lost the semifinal to Fiji at the Rio Olympics (eventually winning the silver medal), Ruby says she was ready to walk away from rugby.
Then a "life-changing conversation" with former coach Allan Bunting at a hotel bar near the Olympic Village gave her some much-needed faith.
'I love rugby so much but it's just like any passion, it's 24/7… When you feel like you're not reaching the heights it does make you consider leaving because you're taking all this time away from your family… you're constantly asking yourself is this worth it?'
To find happiness, you have to first discover your own unique personal definition of it, Ruby says, then go after that and be grateful along the way.
She's learnt her own happiness comes from a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging.
"[When I was growing up] there were all these bad things I saw happen… and I swore there's gotta be another option.
"Then I found footie, found myself in a room full of amazing wāhine toa. I found myself working hard towards a positive purpose.
"Women in black jerseys give little girls power… and it's just as important for young boys to see strong women, as well.
"For me, having that purpose, having that belonging and seeing a good choice in life after seeing a whole lot of bad ones... how can I not feel happy every single day?"
