Dead Man’s Head

From Storytime Treasures: Dead Man's Head by Jack Lasenby read by Lloyd Scott

Uncle Ted’s Secret Recipe

(This mixture will make two or three life-sized human heads.)

Ingredients

• 1 pound of grated breadcrumbs
• 1 pound of flour
• 1½ pounds of sugar
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 dozen eggs
• ¼ pound of ground almonds
• 2 teaspoons of mixed spice
• 1 pinch each of nutmeg, mace, and ground cloves
• 1½ pounds of suet
• 2 pounds of big raisins
• 1 pound of currants
• 1 pound of sultanas
• ½ pound of chopped lemon peel
• 2 or 3 cups brandy or rum (flat beer will do if you haven’t got them - this is for the adult version of recipe)

Mixing and Cooking

Smash the eggs into a bowl, pick out any bits of shell, then stir them around and pour in the sugar.

Put everything else in a big bowl, and pour the eggs and sugar over them.

Stir it well and add the brandy. (Hold your breath because if you sniff too much you could blow up.)

Cut open some clean flour bags and dip them in boiling water. (If you haven’t got any flour bags, tear up an old sheet, but wash it first.)

Spread them out, sprinkle flour over them, and rub it in. That makes the skin for the heads.

Plonk the mixture in the middle and tie the cloth up round it, leaving a bit of room for the pudding to swell.

Lower it into boiling water with a plate underneath so the pudding doesn’t touch the bottom, and boil it gently without stopping for eight hours.

When it’s finished, hang it outside to dry.

How to Eat Him

A good Dead Man’s Head will keep for months if you hang and ripen him properly. Then you can take him down and whack off a slice whenever you feel hungry. You can eat him buttered like bread, toasted, fried, or boil him again, if you like him hot. He’s first-rate with cream, even better than porridge (Dead Man’s Brains).

That’s all there is to it. It’s easy.

Good luck!

From,

Uncle Ted (and Old Tip).