It continues to amuse my friends that I keep chasing that Holy Grail – a big-budget Hollywood movie that isn’t stupid.
Back in the day, that was most of the important ones. They were made by the best directors, they were about something significant, written by top writers, and starring the best actors.
Not now, of course. Most of the biggest movies started out in life as humble comic books, and woe betide stars like Helen Mirren if they turn down stuff like Shazam Fury of the Gods.
Photo: Screenshot
How else can they afford to make smaller and better movies, essentially on their own time?
To my embarrassment, I rather enjoyed the first Shazam, a sort of superhero version of the old Tom Hanks comedy Big. In it, our 14-year-old hero Billy Batson is given magical powers if he says the word “Shazam”.
Not just magical powers. He actually turns into a beefy Superman type. But the point is, inside he’s still a dopey kid.
Four years on, the inevitable sequel arrives, much delayed by Covid, which brings its own snags. One of these is the family-friendly fun of a 14-year-old pretending to be grown up, is somewhat diluted when he and his friends-turned-superheroes actually do grow up.
Now what?
If ever there was a shorthand for most blockbuster sequels, it would be “now what?”
Star Zachary Levi may be an endearing screen presence, but there’s only so much he can do on his own.
Yes, he’s got his orphanage mates – who now keep switching between Dead End Kids into All-Purpose Superheroes in Tights - and there’s the old magic Wizard on hand to explain things.
But it’s still mostly Billy, aka the Shazam guy, looking for something to do.
The “something to do” in Fury of the Gods turns out to be three grumpy celestials – the daughters of Atlas, no less – suggesting that Billy and his pals don’t deserve these magical powers.
The daughters are played – in ascending order of importance – by former West Side Story star Rachel Zegler, former Charlie’s Angel Lucy Liu, and former serious actor Dame Helen Mirren.
Clearly Oscar-winner and five-times Bafta-winner Mirren has decided you can’t live on respect alone.
She does what she can in Shazam: Fury of the Gods, which is, frankly, not much. The plot, such as it is, makes very little sense. Which is ironic because the script is made up almost entirely of exposition.
When a film needs so much setup to get going – particularly one aimed at kids – you know it’s in trouble.
Billy’s plot is about, I don’t know, imposter syndrome or something. Meanwhile his friends think he’s a total control freak and they want to have fun.
And the three witches –the Fury of the Gods people – keep attacking our heroes, often with dragons.
Shazam Fury of the Gods is big, empty and so, so stupid. And I’m afraid the trend is going downhill, rather than bigger and better.
