Warning: Story discusses suicide and euthanasia.
A woman dying of cancer is urging New Zealanders to 'pull the plug' on the proposed euthanasia law, saying people could be coerced into an early death.
The public will be asked to vote yes or no to the End of Life Choice Act, in a referendum on election day.
The Act would allow terminally ill people who are given six months or less to live and who are experiencing unbearable suffering, the option of medically assisted dying.
Vicki Walsh, who is now 53, was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme in June 2011.
The aggressive brain cancer is nicknamed 'The Terminator' and those who have it typically die within 14 months of diagnosis.
But nine years later, Vicki is still around, living near Palmerston North with her husband and two adult children.
She has been taking the drug Avastin - which has cost her $24,000 - and the mass in her brain has halved.
"I was always told there was nothing more that could be done," she said. "So in eight years, nine years, things have changed, so I got another surgery, I got radiation and now we're having this drug that we're paying for."
But there was a moment after her diagnosis where she felt helpless and depressed.
She said she watched people, who were battling the same illness overseas, choose euthanasia and felt she should take her own life.
"I actually felt kind of gutless, I was looking at my husband and we were trying to keep life normal and I had a bit of a stroke and it ended up really, really big and I just felt that this is it for me," she said.
"It had been several weeks, it wasn't just an overnight thing, and I just thought, if this is how it's going to be, I don't want to live like this anymore."
But Vicki changed her mind in the last moment.
Had she gone through with it, she said she would have missed out on watching her grandchildren grow up.
"If you'd asked me if I want to live like I am now, I would have viewed my life 15 years ago as not having much of a quality of life now" she said. "I love my life, you know, I love my life."
Vicki said she didn't want to see people suffer, but felt the End of Life Choice Act was not watertight.
The Act includes a provision that allows doctors to stop the process if they believe coercion is happening.
But Vicki's greatest fear is that people will feel pressured to end their lives earlier than they need to.
"The coercion thing is one of biggest concerns for me about this bill, people say it wouldn't happen - well we already have an elderly abuse problem in this country," she said.
"So I already know what I feel like, like my family don't make me feel like a burden, but I also feel like a burden sometimes and I'm not getting that pressure."
Where to get help:
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Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
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