Photo: 123RF
Survivors and advocates are calling for greater awareness and education at a grassroots level to reduce family violence within the South Asian community.
"Family violence within ethnic communities is largely underreported," said Hina Nasir, a domestic abuse survivor. "We have a tendency to brush everything under the rug."
Nasir, a freelance graphics artist, said family violence was particularly prevalent in New Zealand's South Asian community.
"I've witnessed many incidents where the response is to keep it to yourself," she said. "People often downplay it, saying it's okay and that it happens."
Many were reluctant to discuss abuse, especially intimate partner violence, she said, adding that many incidents were not considered abuse.
"I believe this issue is deeply intertwined with cultural norms and distorted interpretations of faith," Nasir said. "It's so deeply rooted, passed down through generations, that it becomes difficult to address."
Hina Nasir hails from Lahore, Pakistan. Photo: RNZ / Blessen Tom
In 2022-23, New Zealand Police conducted 177,452 family harm investigations, reflecting a 49 percent increase since 2017.
A 2023 study by the University of Auckland found intimate partner violence was a significant issue across all ethnic groups in New Zealand.
The study found that 55.8 percent of all women surveyed experienced intimate partner violence at some point in their lives.
Māori women were disproportionately affected, with nearly 65 percent reporting partner abuse in their lifetime, the highest among all ethnicities, the study found.
In contrast, the study found that Asian women reported the lowest rates of partner abuse, with 35.8 percent experiencing such violence.
However, survivors and advocates in the community believe these numbers are just the tip of the iceberg.
Gandhi Nivas provides counseling and housing for men bound by police safety orders who cannot return home. Photo: RNZ / Blessen Tom
Zara, a domestic abuse survivor from the South Asian community who spoke on condition of using a pseudonym, said the issue was seldom discussed.
"I think the abuse will be very common because a lot of the time people don't really talk about it, and we always want to put up a front saying we're in happy marriages and everything is okay," she said.
"I come from a culture where women [do] not raise their voices and have to put up with it," she said.
"I thought if I got out of that environment, things would be different, but things probably got worse when I came here."
Zara came to New Zealand with her husband in 2016 before divorcing in 2020.
She said things were challenging if you're a new immigrant experiencing family violence.
"They've got no family, no support system and they're all on their own, so they don't want to talk about anything like that," she said.
"We have normalized this thing where, you know, the husband can slap you here and there, and the woman is the one who made him do it."
Zara said woman were often disciplined by their partners in many Asian cultures.
"There is no concept of emotional or financial or psychological abuse at all," she said.
Tayyaba Khan, founder of the Khadija Leadership Network Photo: RNZ / Blessen Tom
Cultural and religious barriers
Tayyaba Khan, founder of the Khadija Leadership Network, has been working in the family harm space within ethnic communities for more than 15 years.
"I got involved when someone in the community approached me because they wanted to leave their partner who was harming them physically," Khan said. "They had children and needed help to move."
Khan said there was a lack of sufficient data or research on South Asian women experiencing family harm, highlighting specific challenges faced by the South Asian Muslim community.
"I work with communities in many countries, particularly in Australia and the UK, and what I found fascinating is the use or misuse of religion to cause harm towards women," she said.
Khan said Muslim women who wanted to end their Islamic marriages often struggled.
"I've had to engage with women who believe they can't ask for a divorce," she said.
"They can request a divorce, but it isn't always recognized by an imam," Khan said.
"Several complex factors contribute to this issue, but the fact remains that every Muslim has the right to seek a divorce," she said.
"Currently, there are no clear or safe pathways for women to access their rights in this regard."
She said these challenges created barriers for victims seeking support.
"Women don't seek help because the person they go to might know the perpetrator, who could also be a community leader," Khan said. "So there's a lot of fear."
Khan has been nominated for the 2024 Inspirational Woman Awards for her work in addressing family harm within marginalized communities.
Ranjna Patel, founder of Gandhi Nivas Photo: RNZ / Cole Eastham-Farrelly
Community initiatives
Ranjna Patel founded Gandhi Nivas in 2014 to address family harm in the South Auckland community.
Gandhi Nivas provides counseling and housing for men bound by police safety orders who cannot return home.
The organization's key approach to family violence intervention involves engaging offenders in their rehabilitation.
"We are trying to help men take a positive role in stopping violence against women," said Patel, who is also co-founder of the Tāmaki Health GP network.
Gandhi Nivas offers 24/7 assessments, counseling, free accommodation and comprehensive support to clients, victims and children.
"Most services in New Zealand operate Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, but most incidents happen in the evenings and on weekends," Patel said. "That's when we get most of our intakes."
Patel's organization was taking a different approach to reduce family harm.
In 2020, Massey University researchers found that 69 percent of participants who entered the Gandhi Nivas programme did not reoffend for five years.
"That is phenomenal," said Patel, adding that securing financial backing remained the biggest challenge.
"Funding is a problem for anyone doing community work," she said.
Noeleen van de Lisdonk, co-founder of Fatimah Foundation Photo: Supplied
Noeleen van de Lisdonk, co-founder of the Fatimah Foundation, agreed funding was critical.
"Groups in the South Asian community are largely run on volunteerism and, eventually, we need to move on. It doesn't always work without proper funding," she said.
Established in 2009, the Fatimah Foundation supports South Asian Muslim women affected by violence.
"We found many women wanted to stay with their families but needed the violence to stop," she said. "Some did want to leave, so we adopted a holistic approach to support both outcomes, including education about life in New Zealand."
Van de Lisdonk said the foundation also worked with men in the community, offering information on co-parenting and preventative strategies to keep families safe.
Vishal Rishi, director at The Asian Network Incorporated (TANI), said more dialogue was needed on the issue.
"We need our communities to understand that it's okay to talk openly about these issues," Rishi said.
"The more we talk, the more we break those barriers, and the more people will understand and learn."
Vishal Rishi, director at The Asian Network Incorporated Photo: Supplied
In 2023, Rishi launched SAMER+ Collective, which brings together surivivors from South Asian, Middle Eastern, rainbow and other communities to combat family violence.
"There are many services available in New Zealand but, for South Asians, there are still many barriers to overcome," Rishi said.
"SAMER+ Collective focuses on eliminating these barriers and promoting preventative work."
Zara and Nasir called on women experiencing family violence to seek support.
"If you're going through something like this, it's not okay to endure it," Zara said. "Once you get out, you realize that life isn't as difficult as it seemed. You can thrive without them."
Nasir agreed.
"We have many community-led organizations like Shama and Shakti, as well as services like the Police," Nasir said.
"It's okay to pick up the phone and reach out. If your phone is being monitored, talk to your neighbours, give them a nudge - there are people out there looking for signs."
If you are a victim of family violence or in a relationship that makes you fearful about your own or anyone else's safety, seek help as soon as possible.
- Shakti: 0800 742 584 (24 hours)
- Shine National Helpline: 0508 744 633 (24 hours)
- Gandhi Nivas: 0800 426 344
- National Network of Stopping Violence: 03 391 0048
- Women's Refuge crisis: 0800 733 843 (24 hours)
- Fatima Foundation: 0800 222 432
