Sigma is in, slay is out: the new slang words (and why your kids don’t want you to use them)

Nothing screams 'how do you do, fellow kids?' quite like trying to use slang that's just not for you.

It's why the internet collectively cringed when Prime Minister Christopher Luxon decided to give Gen Alpha's unique 'brainrot' style of speech a go in a video posted to Instagram and TikTok.

"Straight up, we're getting New Zealand back on track, no cap. The phone ban in schools ate, and it left no crumbs. See the lack of regional fuel tax? It's giving back on track. Delivering tax relief has so much rizz, Nicola Willis understood the assignment. Slay."

The video attracted some mixed responses from viewers; some were mildly amused, while others experienced a fair bit of second-hand embarrassment.

But why do we find it cringe when old people try to use slang? Who determines when words are in and when they're out? And where do they come from anyway?

Skibidi, Sigma, Rizz - where did it all come from?

Every generation has their own slang, but Gen Alpha (people born between 2010-2024) have a particularly unhinged way of speaking.

They use a hyper-online style of speech, dubbed 'brainrot language'. It's slang that's often niche and insular to the internet, cropping up in places like TikTok, YouTube, Twitch and Roblox - making it uniquely difficult for older generations to understand.

It's given rise to words like 'sigma', a humbler version of the traditional 'alpha', 'rizz', the ability to charm or woo someone, and 'skibidi', meaning bad, cool, or nothing at all.

How does slang die?

'Slay' is already dead. 'Tea' is vintage. Now, it's all about 'gyatt' (like gyatt damn, or goddamn) and 'fanum tax', the act of jokingly taking food from a friend, or collecting the fanum tax. Are you following along?

The words are fun and silly and a little bit random - and Gen Alpha is fully aware of this. The more nonsensical a sentence, the more likely it is to receive a comment along the lines of, 'Imagine showing this to a Victorian child' or 'There's no way to explain this'.

Something like 'skibidi Ohio rizz' might feel like the funniest thing in the world right now, but according to linguistics expert and content creator Adam Aleksic, these words might not be around for long.

"If you look at any historical example, the slang words that survive are never the ones we think of as slang words ... look at the words 'selfie' or 'cancel' meaning socially ostracise. We still use them because they didn't stick out as examples of slang.

"Any time a word is too obtrusive, it gets tied to a meme, people use it ironically and then the meme dies out, it becomes unfunny, like when adults start using it ... I don't think any of the brainrot words are actually gonna stick around."

So why is it cringe when old people try to use brainrot slang? RNZ took to Auckland's Mission Bay to ask Gen Alpha (and their parents) just that.

Sebastian Gundry hears his daughter Kaia and her friends using words like 'skibidi', 'rizz', and 'mewing' all the time. He enjoys deliberately misusing them.

"Skibidi is something to do with brainrot, Ohio brainrot is when you wear two different coloured crocs, you have a rat tail or a mullet and basketball shorts," he says confidently.

"Rizz is like Rizla, like rolling paper for a cigarette. I'm pretty much a 100 percent sure on that. And does mewing mean spitting... like mooing?"

Kaia explains that mewing is all about flexing your jawline, so you can 'rizz' people up. Rizz, in this case, is short for exuding charisma. For Gundry, it suddenly clicks.

"Oh it's like your vibe, your aura. And sus is short for suspect... see these words are all just a breakdown of normal words, but they're in half, it's like when you're texting and you can't be bothered writing the whole word."

Kaia says it's "absolutely cringe" for adults to use this slang, and Gundry agrees.

"Words change all the time, they're constantly developing and changing, there's nothing wrong with Covid or Gen Alpha lingo in my view ... I just feel not cool, I shouldn't try and use it, I don't know what I'm saying. We're old and crusty and shouldn't try and be cool."

Cosette Tulloch has four daughters aged nine to 15, so she has an idea of what they're talking about - some of the time.

"Rizz ... is that cool? Is it when you're flirting with someone? Mewing ... is that to do with having a sharper chin? Like a nice, defined jaw line? See skibidi, I was talking with my husband about this the other night and we still don't know what it is. Is it something to do with a toilet?"

Tulloch's daughters are reassuring that she's on the right track, but reckon it's still a bit embarrassing when adults try to use these words.

"They're a little bit older and it's meant for us," 11-year-old Leah says.

Her sister Shiloh, 13, agrees: "It's cringe, mum uses it and I'm like no, you can't do that ... but maybe they should just do it to make everyone else cringe."

Tulloch says she was told off just that morning for trying to act cool.

"We drove up from Hamilton so I was like, 'Can we put some Gen Z music on', and Shiloh put on Central Cee and I was singing along and I got told off ... I think we need to embrace our kids' generation. Millennials are cool, I think we're nicer than your generation ... nah, jokes."

Edward Strange, 13, is happy his dad Darren Tichborne doesn't try to get in amongst the slang of today.

Tichborne thinks 'sigma' is a car, like a Mitsubishi Sigma. He thinks 'rizz' means "rarking someone up". Sus - "is that suspect? Like Christopher Luxon?" and 'mewing' must mean you have an itchy chin.

"I just wouldn't have a clue ... kids these days, man.

"There's just things you wouldn't say. I remember when the word 'lit' was going around some time ago, and that seems to have died a natural death... I actually gave him one earlier. He gave me poor directions and I said, 'you're giving me a bum steer' and he looked at me like 'what?'."

Luckily, Edward knows what it means now: "It means like giving bad directions or bad advice."

Ada-Rose Wilson, 12, says it's hard to explain these terms: "You just kind of watch videos and figure out what it means" - and says sometimes it feels silly to try and explain them.

"It's kind of funny cause some people will be like 'Oh yeah, that person is so skibidi sigma rizzful, I've heard people say that before and it sounds really weird."

Her cousin, 10-year-old Zelda Capamagian, explains that a lot of the terms are complimentary - 'sigma' means "amazing" or "kind of like cool" while 'rizz' is the ability to get men or women.

"Are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you," Zelda says.

Their grandmother Janine Kenyon says she enjoys hearing the girls chatting away.

"I think we're a lot more accepting of slang and young ones than my parents were. We were seen and not heard, that was that generation.

"I stick to my own slang. I mean, I still use 'cool' which is dating back to the 60s, 70s, it hasn't gone away. But I love hearing them do it, it's their little language and they bounce off one another and it's great."

Zelda doesn't mind if adults use slang - she and Ada-Rose both think their grandma is sigma - but they're worried about people who don't know what it means.

"If they're saying stuff and they don't know what it means, they could be saying something else, it could mean something bad. I would feel bad for them."