Why I left New Zealand

For our theme of Change, we’ve been exploring that Kiwi rite of passage, the OE: the factors taken into account in deciding to leave; the triumphant or not-so-triumphant return; and what it feels like to be left behind. It seems that moving overseas, if only for a short while, is an option most New Zealanders consider at some point in their lives, even if they eventually decide against it.

                READ the responses to #stillhere. What keeps you in New Zealand?

In many cases, it’s a privilege and a luxury to have the opportunity to expand your horizons overseas, let alone have the trip partially funded or a job to return to in New Zealand. But the fact remains – for a variety of reasons, the New Zealanders below aren’t in New Zealand anymore. And many of them aren’t sure if or when they’re coming back.

Responses edited for length.

Michael Oliver, 29, journalist, Ashurst. Moved to London in June 2013.

“After I was made redundant, I hated the idea of knocking about another nine-to-five in Auckland, and returning to Wellington felt like a step backwards. The comforts of having spent 28 years in the same country, my family, my social circle paled in comparison with the great unknown in the Northern Hemisphere. Plus, I had only a couple of years to cash in a working holiday visa before I was considered too old. There were an upsetting few months when I first arrived when all I could think of coming home, but now I’m upset by the thought of returning – not because I’m having “THE TIME OF MY LIFE”, but because New Zealand is just so goddamn disappointing right now, there’s no incentive to return. I miss my friends and family, but someone once told me New Zealand is ideal for both growing up and raising children in, and ruinous at every other age. I’m single and have no desire to re-live my life from ages one through to 18. I won’t be home for some time, touch wood, my visa, and my precious, precious Oyster card.”

Rachel Brandon, 23, English language teacher, Wellington. Moved to Toyama prefecture in Japan in August 2012 through the Japanese Exchange and Teaching Programme.

“I left New Zealand in August of 2012. I’d recently graduated, Wellington was starting to feel too small, and I was jaded. I chose moving to Japan to teach English with the JET Programme over further study. Besides my photography and the network I had for it, nothing was tying me down. I knew I’d return to New Zealand but I wasn’t sure when, because I didn’t know which direction I wanted to go in the future. The goals I had initially envisaged for Japan took a backseat. I neglected studying the language and my savings goals lost out to my desire to travel. However, Japan unexpectedly pulled me out of a creative rut in my photography and for the first time I truly felt inspired. I learnt I should not simply remain content with a job because it provides security. Recently, I have begun to feel too comfortable so I came to the decision to leave Japan in order to explore new avenues. I will return to New Zealand next August. I would eventually like to study photography or film in depth and the courses I have looked at aren’t available in New Zealand. So my return home will be rather short-lived.”

Darian Woods, 25, policy analyst, Christchurch. Moved to California in August to study Master’s in Public Policy.

“It’s hard to say whether I was weighing up whether to stay or go: it seemed inevitable. I wanted to study policy problems in-depth for two years; I wanted to learn how New Zealand compares with other jurisdictions on tackling health, education, welfare and justice issues; and I wanted to benefit from the internationally-recognised qualifications, networks, coursework and professors of US universities. I haven’t actually resigned from my current job as a policy analyst in Wellington so I’ll be returning there once I’ve eaten enough pancakes and grits here. America is the world’s richest large economy, but it is poor in many ways, with pronounced racial segregation, decreasing incomes in the neediest houses and cuts to benefits. You notice it in the potholes in the roads which are in some places almost as damaged as in East Christchurch. I’m planning on coming back in two years. Don’t change too much, New Zealand: there’s a lot that makes us greater than we realise!”

Tobias Brockie, 28, journalist, Christchurch/Wellington. Moved to Edinburgh in July.

“I’ve always wanted to live overseas for a bit, and if I was gonna do it, I was gonna do it before the buying-a-house-getting-married-having-a-baby stage of my life. Whether that stage will come, Christ knows – but I had money and I was a ‘responsible’ age, and nothing was tying me down, so I mean why not? I wanted to live in Scotland because it’s easy to travel from; at least half of my family is from here; and I bloody loved Edinburgh when I visited last year, because it’s ancient and deeply weird. Plus I didn’t want to live in London. My final decision to leave New Zealand basically came on a whim – I bought plane tickets and then I went to the beach. It was a bit tough because my last couple of years in Wellington have been bloody wonderful and I had amazing friends etc, but you know, it’s not like I’m going to lose them just because they’re so far away from me. I don’t have any goals for my move overseas, mostly because I don’t think I’ve ever set a goal in my life. I imagine I will eventually return to New Zealand, but I haven’t been here long enough to gauge when I’ll want to leave, or if I can see myself living here permanently. I’ll leave if I find myself in dire straits, or if I miss home heaps, or if my visa runs out. I’m still in very early days here, though – I can confirm that living in Edinburgh is a lot like visiting Edinburgh, except you’re always there.”

Matt Harnett, 27, communications, Auckland. Moved to Melbourne in early 2013.

“I moved to Melbourne to get a free Masters degree from the University of Melbourne. All tertiary research courses are free over here, and there’s a pretty generous scholarship programme too. Instead of paying $10k to get your Masters from Auckland, why not get paid to do it in Melbourne?  Having graduated and scored a full-time job, I’ll probably stay here for a bit before trying for the US or Europe; I can’t imagine returning to NZ in less than five or ten years. I guess I’d come back sooner if international jobs dried up, and I was offered something amazing at home, but I don’t see that happening. New Zealand’s a safe, steady base I can move back to any time I want, but it’s also a trap that’s hard to leave when you’re dragging a family or house behind you; I want to see the world before I settle down.”

Trong Ronakiat, 28, art director, Hamilton. Moved to Sydney in August.                      

“Towards the end of my time in Auckland I was feeling trapped with not much opportunity or possibility for something new, personal and career-wise. Then I was offered a job in Sydney. It was an easy yes for me as I was already thinking of moving somewhere with more possibility, more opportunity, more financial reward, more vibrancy and more life. Of course I wondered about when or if I’d return to New Zealand but the answer was I didn’t know. And I still don’t know. I’ve romanticised retiring in Wellington with all my friends but that seems too far away to think about seriously. I get up earlier than I used to when I was in New Zealand, and the quality of the work I produce is noticeably better, I believe, as a result of being so stimulated. I don’t see myself returning to New Zealand in the near future – maybe when I have a family or kids. Maybe if I get an amazing job in Wellington.

Talia Smith, 29, artist/curator, New Plymouth. Moved to Sydney in July.

“I left New Zealand just coming up three months ago for a curatorial residency at Gaffa Gallery in Sydney. At the time I applied for this opportunity, I’d just finished a contract working in the arts as a curator and was feeling kind of at a loss for what to do next. I love home and my friends and family but I felt like I needed a new challenge, so I packed up and moved to Sydney – not exactly the other side of the world, I know. Not knowing anyone in the arts here was probably the biggest challenge I faced in leaving and I’m still facing that three months on. I see now that I had a very unrealistic view on how things would go, i.e. that I would become a power curator woman within one week, own a dog and a house, and get married so when I was faced with the actual struggle of finding a house and a job I didn’t hate, all the while watching my blessed savings disappear, I definitely struggled and thought about packing it in to go home. My goal is still very much the same as when I arrived: Sydney art scene domination (or infiltration, heh). Slowly I am beginning to recapture that confidence in myself and am feeling more comfortable with the place. I think at one stage I will return to New Zealand permanently but for now coming back and forth and basing myself in Australia is where I see the most advantages.”

Jack Campbell, 26, public servant. Moved to New York in July.

“The main factor was my partner Alix’s Fulbright scholarship. Once we knew about that, and that she had been accepted to some really great schools in the US, leaving was a no-brainer. I loved my work at the Waitangi Tribunal, but that came to an end in May, and while I’m only a semester from finishing my law degree, I wasn’t exactly disappointed to take a break… Wellington was a safe, slow and small place – I felt like I could wake up one morning suddenly be in my forties, working a steady government job and going out once a week (if that). Did I take a career risk? Sure. Did I take on a lot of extra stress (which isn’t my strong suit)? Yup. But I always felt like everything would work out, despite these ‘risks’. It actually resulted in a real privilege check for me. At 26, I could swan off from my degree and budding career for two years, to the other side of the world, and everything would work out fine. That’s either privilege, naiveté or stupidity. I guess time will tell. Our visas only allow us to stay for the duration of Alix’s study, plus the scholarship requires her to come back. Being able to say “only for two years” helped with my mum’s heart palpitations, I think.”

Alix Jansen, 26, public servant, Wellington. Moved in July to study for an MA in Politics at the New School for Social Research in New York.

“Leaving was kind of a long time in the making. I just felt the weight of routine, having the same conversations – I think I got to a stage where it just felt like I could do what I was doing forever and nothing would ever change. I’d met some career goals that meant general ‘respectability’ had been achieved and I just didn’t want to stay still. Obviously there is a huge amount of privilege behind me just being able to say ‘I’m bored and I want to be somewhere else’. But I always intended to do more study, on unemployment and underemployment, and I wanted to do it overseas. Money, obviously, was a big one – getting a Fulbright kicked me to take the opportunity, plus they helped HEAPS with the visa stuff. With the support of Fulbright, the New Zealand Red Cross (whom I’ve volunteered with for years) and The New School and savings, I managed to kind of piece it all together. My work was also really supportive, and I think the OE tradition worked to my favour – people get that a person in their 20s who has spent all their time at school and at work in NZ might head off at some point. The Fulbright is all about exchange, so I’ll be back in two years. That will give me some space to think about what I’m doing with my life (hah, plans) and think about how what I’ve learned and seen here relates to NZ. I might leave again though. I like cities and lots going on around me. Maybe it’s just an aesthetic thing, or maybe I like who I am here a bit more. * Alix’s views are her own, and do not represent those of the Fulbright Program or the US Department of State.

Sean McDonald, 23, coordinator for International Relations/Prefectural Advisor, Wellington. Moved to Kochi prefecture Japan in August 2013 through the Japanese Exchange and Teaching Programme.

I basically left due to lack of jobs and opportunities. I wanted to do honours but the programme I was accepted to got cancelled. I thought I’d find work relevant to my degree, so I looked up both of my majors on Seek.co.nz and there were two available jobs listed in New Zealand. I tried the same search terms on Seek.com.au and there were 200. That was the point I realised that if I was going to get a job I actually wanted I would probably have to leave. Since I’d learned a foreign language it seemed wasteful to stay somewhere I pretty much couldn’t use it. Wellington is also horrifyingly claustrophobic (incestuous, even) in terms of both employment and personal relationships so I wanted to get away from that too. The only thing really holding me back was financial concerns i.e. I needed a solid source of income, preferably set up before leaving, and that turned out to be the JET programme. Despite being the definition of middle class I don’t feel like studying towards another degree in New Zealand is a viable option because it costs too much. Japan is famous for horribly high living costs but I get 70 per cent off all medical costs simply by being a resident and studying is cheaper, even as an international student. Which is a little ridiculous. Besides, I feel like I’m setting myself up better than I would be studying the same subject back home.”