Keeping up with the Kontentsphere

Has another week passed you by with nary a fleeting glance at the weird and wonderful world of online content? Get the goss with another handy installment of Keeping up with the Kontentsphere.

MAX KEY MERCH

Ever had a hankering for a hoodie with a small bitmoji image of Max Key holding a literal key? Dreamed longingly on having his washboard abs displayed on your comparatively meaty torso? Wondered if it’s time that you upgraded your fidget spinner to one emblazoned with the former first son’s cartoon visage?

Well, wish no more, Max Key Merch is here! As launched in this very clever bait and switch, John Key cameoing video (spoiler: we do not find out who John Key thinks will win the election), the time is nigh for you (yes! you!) to cop some sweet gears and declare your love for dear Max.

Order by the end of the week and get one of those fidget spinners free! A savvy businessman, just like his father.

THE POLLS

There is just ONE WEEK TO GO before what has felt like an endless election campaign finally sputters out and guess what: no one has even the faintest idea what is going to happen.

First Patrick Gower announced the results of NewsHub’s “dramatic and devastating” poll, which saw National leap a whopping 10 points ahead with the numbers to potentially govern solo.

*gulp*

But hark! What is this? Just last night a TVNZ Colmar Brunton poll decreed that Labour have maintained their 4 point lead, with both them and National gaining a percent each.

So what do these vastly different and utterly contradictory polls tell us?

LORDE x KHALID x SZA x POST MALONE

Everyone’s favourite Croatian citizen Lorde has a new remix of her song Homemade Dynamite with the help of a few of her famous friends.

With three new verses from SZA, Post Malone and tour-mate Khalid, the new version of the track from Lorde’s Melodrama album is available now for all your sweet little ears to listen to.

ISRAEL FOLAU v MARRIAGE EQUALITY

Australia rugby star (and noted WAG of Silver Fern Maria Tutaia) Israel Folau has weighed in the marriage equality debate.

Bloody Aussies. Thankfully our national treasures are a tad more woke.

SAUCY STEVEN ADAMS

Just a week after cucking me with none other than former New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark, basketballing babe Steven Adams is now using media junkets to taunt my delicate lady heart.

Your mcm could never.