28 Sep 2024

Judy Bailey on being ‘Mother of the Nation’ and the minefield of ageing

1:00 pm on 28 September 2024
Almost 20 years after reading her final TVNZ news bulletin, beloved broadcaster Judy Bailey writes about the “minefield” of healthy ageing in her new book Evolving.

Almost 20 years after reading her final TVNZ news bulletin, beloved broadcaster Judy Bailey writes about the “minefield” of healthy ageing in her new book Evolving. Photo: Supplied

In the '80s and '90s, TVNZ's nightly newsreader Judy Bailey was so beloved that Kiwis called her "Mother of the Nation".

Now in her 70s, Bailey writes about the "minefield" of healthy ageing in the new book Evolving.

In decades past, Bailey thought getting older "must be all downhill to the Zimmer frame" after decades of being told in sombre tones that it ain't for sissies.

"It turns out, not so much. It's a time of enormous joy and discovery and you have time to really focus on the things that are important in life," she told RNZ's Saturday Morning programme.

Despite reports to the contrary, the senior years can be a time of joy, purpose and deep connection with the world, she says.

"Older people are often just lumped into this great amorphous mass of 'old', but there is such a vast range of capabilities from 60 to 100. I know 90-year-olds who are still surfing, for instance. So many [older people] are so full of intellect and ideas and capable of contributing so much more to our society than we give them credit for."

Bailey doesn't deny that the physical effects of ageing can be "problematic" - aches and pains develop, sarcopenia sets in and "the bod begins to sag a bit".

Retirement also delivers a tough reckoning with a new identity, she says.

"If you leave a really demanding job all of a sudden, you wonder who you are and what your reason is for being really."

Back in 2005, after nearly 20 years reading TV One's primetime news bulletin, Bailey got "quite a shock" to learn she was out of a job herself.

"I wasn't really prepared for what lay ahead. Had I been aware that they were not going to renew my contract, I would have prepped myself a bit.

"Fortunately, an opportunity opened up. Penguin approached me to write a sort of memoir thing [My Own Words] which occupied my time for a year. It was just great, because it allowed me to get busy and move on and not get all bitter and twisted about things.

"That was wonderful. It was cathartic. It was great because I was able to revisit my old mates and relive the broadcasting days, which were the glory days. You know, life was simple."

Now, almost 20 years after reading her final news bulletin, Bailey has learned enjoying retirement is about finding "purpose".

She and her husband Chris - a TV producer and director and "wonderful do-it-yourselfer" - find this spending time with their eight great-grandkids in Auckland and planting natives at their Coromandel home.

Many newly retired people "start to wonder if they even like their other half" when suddenly faced with spending hours on end together, Bailey says, but she can't imagine life without Chris.

"We've been together since I was 18. We decided to get married three weeks after we'd met, so it could have been a complete disaster. It's such a lottery, isn't it? We've had our ups and downs. We really have. It's not been a bed of roses, but we are very contented with each other and enjoy each other's company enormously.

"He's built our house on the Coromandel … and it's just been a labour of love, really. We've just beavered away on it and it's been an amazing focus for the family."

Strong relationships are "absolutely pivotal" to wellbeing throughout our lives, Bailey says.

"Towards the end of our lives, we need somebody who is invested in us and in our wellbeing, who really cares. It doesn't have to be a partner, it could be a friend, but somebody you could ring in the middle of the night and say, 'Look, I'm really worried about something.' It is profoundly protective."

As she gets older, Bailey also finds comfort in a deeper connection with the spiritual world - a phenomenon captured by Swedish sociologist Lars Tornstam's concept of gerotranscendence.

"He came up with this idea that older people reach a stage in life where material things don't seem as important. You become more invested in where you've come from, your roots, what they mean and the people who are dear to you.

"You have more of a sense of spirituality. And I don't mean that in a religious sense really, but in a sense of embracing the world around you and becoming more of a spiritual person, investing in nature and the beauty that surrounds you, and the simple life. That really resonates with me and how I see my ageing journey."

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