Relationship counsellors say the increasing need for a Covid-19 vaccination to work, travel and dine out may begin to tear families apart if they cannot settle on a mutual decision.
Photo: 123RF
Experts say with the rise of the new, highly infectious Omicron variant, the question of whether to vaccinate children could become particularly fraught if parents do not share the same views.
Queensland has imposed new restrictions on those yet to be vaccinated, banning them from pubs, clubs, cafes, theme parks and other venues, along with many health facilities unless they have a specific exemption.
Public health workers and teachers, along with police officers are also required to have two doses of a vaccine or face losing their jobs.
More than 18.5 million Australians are now fully vaccinated - or 89.9 percent of the population over 16 - including more than 3.4m people in Queensland.
Australian children as young as five will be eligible to be vaccinated against Covid-19 from 10 January next year.
Meanwhile, in New Zealand from 11.59pm on 30 December most of the country (excluding Northland) will be under the government's Covid-19 orange traffic light setting.
Under this setting hospitality venues that choose not to use the My Vaccine pass system to ensure customers are fully vaccinated, will only be able to offer a contactless takeaway service.
People without a My Vaccine Pass will be able to use essential services but will not be able to enter premises that require a pass which may include hospitality venues, events, gatherings and gyms.
Vaccination is mandatory in New Zealand for most people (particularly frontline staff) working in the health and disability and education sectors, as well as police and Defence Force workers, Fire and Emergency and the Corrections sector.
In New Zealand Medsafe has now granted provisional approval for the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine for children aged 5 to 11 years old.
Full vaccination is now required for entry to many places in both Australia and New Zealand. Photo: RNZ / Nate McKinnon
What happens if you can't agree?
Data from the University of Melbourne's vaccine hesitancy tracker estimates 8 percent of Queenslanders are currently unwilling to be vaccinated, with another 6 percent still unsure.
Australian Counsellors Association chief executive Philip Armstrong said in families where members could not agree on whether to have a vaccination, their relationships could be at risk.
"Particularly when one of the partners works in a profession where vaccinations are mandatory, and they chose not to go down that road," he said.
"When it starts impacting on things like income, it then stresses that relationship significantly."
Those that do ask for help from counsellors, he said, often wait too long.
"A lot of damage has been done and sometimes it's irreparable," he said.
"And from what I'm seeing and hearing, it doesn't seem to be limited to any socio-economic group."
How do we decide for our kids?
Armstrong said a major point of conflict was around parents working out whether to vaccinate their children.
"The one that I have been hearing a fair bit about is when one partner disagrees with the other, and they have children - whether they should get them vaccinated," he said.
"How do you navigate through that, do you or do you not get the child vaccinated and who has the final say?"
Armstrong said the situation was complicated further because many groups offering psychological help also publicly supported the use of the Covid-19 vaccine for health reasons.
He said that could mean those hesitant about vaccines felt less comfortable about seeking support.
Relationships Australia Queensland senior counsellor Valerie Holden said even before the pandemic, she spoke to parents who disagreed about vaccinating their children.
She said some relationships would not survive.
"[If] you're not willing to compromise and it builds into something insurmountable, or you just walk away from it - definitely," she said.
"I think couples can break up over smaller things than that, and this is going to be quite a big issue."
Finding a way through
Holden expects many people might be hoping their partner has a change of heart before the school year begins.
She said couples and families needed to understand the other person's position and hear their concerns.
"We don't want them to get Covid, or we don't want them to get the injection because we're scared of what the long-term effects will be - so it's fear-based.
"If you can talk about your fears, and talk about your feelings and your emotions around that, and understand where each other's coming from, then I believe you can come to some kind of understanding for each other."
Medsafe in New Zealand has provisionally approved the Pfizer vaccine for children aged 5 to 11 years old. Photo: AFP / Jeff Kowalsky
She believes there is hope for relationships under pressure.
Holden said if children were involved, make them the focus of the discussion.
"What's the right thing for my child?
"I think if you come at it with that, and you're both together and you're both unsure, maybe you can come to some agreement around what is the best thing to do for your child."
She said as a counsellor, she does not offer advice but can help the discussion.
"It's up to the couple to navigate some kind of common ground or understanding for each other and the child, who needs to sit at the centre of that."
For other family members, she said you could still support the person while taking your own precautions.
"If a person decides they don't want to be vaccinated, that's their choice to do that [and] you can make your own choices about yourself."
- ABC / RNZ
