By Jamie Tram, ABC
Brad Pitt and George Clooney in 'Wolfs'. Photo: Supplied / Apple TV+
Review - It's been 16 years since Burn After Reading, the last time George Clooney and Brad Pitt were glimpsed together on-screen - and even then, without spoiling, they only shared the briefest of unfortunate encounters.
In fact, despite being two of the biggest actors of their generation, they haven't appeared in another movie together outside of Steven Soderbergh's Ocean's trilogy, an unrivalled feat of virtuosic cool and effortless ingenuity that defined their movie star personas.
So it's something of a big deal that Clooney and Pitt have been re-united in Wolfs, the latest Apple TV+ original film, with director Jon Watts (Spider-Man: No Way Home) at the helm.
It's the kind of event that you'd think would warrant a silver screen release, especially with its leads initially inking a deal to ensure theatrical distribution. Yet, only a month ago, the streamer unexpectedly pulled Wolfs from its planned cinema run (while simultaneously announcing that a sequel was in development).
The film itself is a crime caper that's competent enough to be forgettable. It begins with an urgent, clandestine call from a district attorney (Amy Ryan; Beau is Afraid), whose night has ended up in a hotel room with a younger, unresponsive man. On the other end is Jack, Clooney's no-nonsense "fixer", who promptly arrives to mop up the political scandal waiting to happen.
George Clooney, Amy Ryan and Brad Pitt in 'Wolfs'. Photo: Supplied / Apple TV+
Complicating the routine dead-body disposal is the arrival of Nick (Pitt), a rival contractor who, like Jack, follows a strict code of working alone. Secret cameras, drugs and warring crime syndicates reliably enter the picture, forcing them to improvise outside of their professional comfort zones to keep a lid on the escalating situation across one, long night.
With its snowy setting, mismatched men and irony-laced noir trappings, you'd be forgiven for thinking that this was a Shane Black film. Unfortunately, ever since The Nice Guys failed to find its audience in time, no one seems capable of making buddy-cop movies anymore, with combative chemistry being mistaken for inane bickering and humourless dick measuring. The catastrophic effect that Ryan Reynolds has inflicted on the genre cannot be understated.
At the very least, Wolf isn't annoying; it's just dull. Nick and Jack clash not because they have opposing methods, philosophies and character traits, but because they are too similar - a tension that is insurmountably difficult to make interesting for 108 minutes, doubly so when both are characterised as severe, rigid, and uncompromising.
It also betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of its lead actors, who have little in common beyond embodying the dying embers of old-school Hollywood charm. The sleight of hand behind the Ocean's films is that all the Byzantine heist plotting never mattered as much as the pleasures of watching its cast hang out; why assemble a powerhouse duo like this if all they're going to do is pout and get down to business?
Brad Pitt, Austin Abrams and George Clooney in 'Wolfs'. Photo: Supplied / Apple TV+
It's an especially pertinent question considering that the film was an opportunity for writer-director Jon Watts to reintroduce himself to the world as a creative force in his own right, rather than a Marvel lackey. After all, there's only so much creative expression one can claim on a film that was dramatically rescheduled and rewritten almost daily at the whims of a juggernaut studio that, at least four years ago, was too big to fail.
Wolfs reveals Watts as a thoroughly inconspicuous talent, even while writing, producing, and directing his own film. The lack of ambition for a US$200m (NZ$314.9m) film is staggering. In the hands of Martin Scorsese, US$200m translates to Killers of the Flower Moon. In the hands of Denis Villeneuve, US$200m gets you Dune: Part Two.
In Wolfs, there's no spectacle to speak of beyond a monotonous chase scene and a truncated shootout, neither of which is remotely complex. The film largely consists of conversations in hotels, diners and restaurants. The film's biggest mystery, and perhaps the biggest crime depicted, is where all that money went.
Filmmaker Jon Watts with Brad Pitt and George Clooney in 'Wolfs'. Photo: Supplied / Apple TV+
Had Wolfs stayed its course and been released in cinemas, it's unlikely it would've made its exorbitant budget back. Not a single one of Apple's recent theatrical releases (among them Fly Me to the Moon, Argylle, and Napoleon) has earned a profit; nearly all have fallen well short of recouping production costs.
Even in the deeply unlikely scenario that Wolfs eventuates in a worthwhile investment by being sent directly to streaming, it's a decision that will inevitably ruin the film's shadowy night-time cinematography on glossy MacBook screens and most living room TV set-ups.
For audiences, cinema is an experience, not an investment - and even mediocre films belong in theatres.
Wolfs is streaming on Apple TV+ now.
- ABC
