Natasha Frost weighs in on this week's episodes of The Bachelor NZ.
Photo: The Bachelor NZ
I have been praying for a lemmings-style ‘out’ - all the girls, all at once, leaving Jordan standing alone with not one rose too few but many roses too many.
This has not happened.
'Connections’ have been made, probably despite everyone’s better judgment - and on Monday, three girls remained: Erin, Fleur and Naz.
And now there are two: Naz and Fleur.
On the face of it, Erin is, or was, the best fit: they have the boat thing, she laughed politely at his one-size-fits-all Gollum impression, they even ‘look right’ together. And her mum made him sausage rolls! And her best friend cried when he said something nice about her! Are these not grounds for marriage?
Apparently not. Cast aside at the rose ceremony in ‘Riccarton House’ (a very strange place that mostly looked like your friend’s posh grandma’s place), after an episode where everyone had been told that saying the word ‘Christchurch’ meant instant elimination, we said goodbye to Erin.
It seems a bit facile to conclude that it was simply because she wouldn’t put out, or sign up for time away from the cameras. Indeed, when the camera hovered over her face, after Jordan had suggested she stay and watch the sunrise with him, I swear I saw a flash of something like realisation: ‘This is terrible, he is terrible, I want out.’ And maybe Jordan saw it too. Or maybe she just really doesn’t like early mornings.
But now just two remain.
Every time I look at Fleur, I think about the time I read that if you bleach your hair too much, when it’s wet it will feel a bit like pasta, and wonder if this is what she is going through.
Every time I look at Naz, I wonder how many hours a week she spends at the gym.
The playing field looks level from here, but who’s got the upper hand?
FLEUR
- ‘Cool’ Masai tattoo demonstrates willingness to endure terrible pain for negligible gain (is that why she is on the Bachelor?)
- Parents have nice house in Hawke's Bay, good for getaways
- Speaks Dutch! Bilingual babies - although Jordan probably won’t ever get to hold them, sorry
- <3 Her dad, Hans <3
- Likes swimming
- I still don’t know what she said in that first episode when she said something in Dutch to him, and it would be good to get a final answer on that
- Has a degree of sorts in Photography; good money-saver at birthdays, christenings, weddings, etc.
- Every Dutch person I have ever known (lots of my mother’s family) says exactly what they think all the time; you always know where you stand (see also: Hans)
- Instagram photos show an impressive collection of self-help books, Jordan could borrow them if he asks nicely
- Probably a genuinely very kind person (heaven knows, you don’t get into youth work for the money)
- Works a good high ponytail
NAZ
- Short name, easy to yell in a crowd
- Can probably help Jordan adjust his squatting technique
- She’s a landscaper!! Very cool job
- Jordan maybe can teach her how to swim; feel manly in process
- Brings whole new meaning to ‘hopelessly devoted’
- Very, very long hair, impressive sense of commitment (see above)
- Her breasts. (Sorry to be crass but she did tell Scout she had paid good money for them so seems worth acknowledging?)
- Maybe speaks Persian? I have seen no evidence of this but it is possible
- Good knowledge of Brisbane
- Surprisingly competent horse-rider, though not as good as Storm
- Sister’s name easy to remember
- Likes to wear very small bikinis; leaves more space in holiday suitcase for Jordan’s collection of stripy tops
Going home: Erin
Pick to win: Naz
In trouble: Fleur
