Clinical neuropsychologist Dr Hannah Korrel is vaccinated against Covid-19 and dating someone who isn't.
Whether vaccination is a deal-breaker for your relationship comes down to the individuals, she says, but there are ways to stay connected as you explore each other's opinions and the emotions behind them.
Photo: Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
Clinical neuropsychologist Hannah Korrel Photo: Supplied
A good starting point for the conversation is to understand the fear and anxiety that could be behind each person's individual position, Dr Korrel says.
"There's the individual who wants their partner to be safe, who wants them to be protected, who wants them to be okay and not put their life at risk. Which partner is that - is it the partner who wants to protect their partner from Covid or is the person who's afraid that vaccination might in some way have untoward influence that they can't quite pick and there's an ominous vibe to it that they can't articulate to you?
"Everybody's operating with the best intentions based on the information that they have."
Conversations about this subject can be frustrating because you don't know everything the other person knows and they don't know everything you know, she says.
People get defensive when they feel the other person isn't listening or trying in some way to make them change their mind, so strip it back to a conversation about emotions.
Assure the person you're not trying to change their mind and, as cliche as it might sound, 'this is a safe space'.
"[You might say] 'I'm not trying to get you to think differently. I just want to know what you think. Why do you think that way?' And be prepared that the answer might not be 'I read this journal article or this study…' It might be that it is just a feeling they have and they're scared, they're worried. And it's this ominous sense that somethings not quite right about it."
"What can I do to help you feel more control in this space? What can I do to help you feel less anxious about this information?
"Start the conversation from a place of allegiance. We are together, we're on the same team… we both want to protect each other. What can we do to move forward to where we both feel more comfortable talking about this?"
"Don't jump in with the facts and ram them down their throat. Wait for them to feel safe in that conversation first."
