In Aotearoa and around the world, teenage girls are struggling with their mental health at higher rates than boys.
Yet the extra anxiety delivered by Covid-19 could help this generation become more resilient adults, says mental health advocate Rachel Kelly.
"[The Covid-19 pandemic presents] big challenges for young people but they may end up the most extraordinary generation of all" she tells Jesse Mulligan.
Photo: Anthony Tran / Unsplash
Mental health diagnosis can be very difficult to pin down in adolescents who are in a time of seeking their own identity and can get a sense of belonging from online self-diagnosis, Kelly says.
For girls, the pandemic seems to have hit harder on a social level.
"Girls, particularly, suffered in terms of their psychological support systems through Covid because they didnt have those ways of getting together with other girls."
Social media had value in ameliorating this isolation but many girls are aware it also has a negative impact on their mental health, Kelly says.
Concerned with their natural appearance, many use filters and apps to distort their own image on social media platforms.
"It's so difficult for girls because they're part of the problem. They're presenting themselves in a way which isn't actually true."
Rather than trying to boost self-esteem, it's healthier for girls and their parents to work on developing self-compassion, Kelly says.
"One of the problems with high self-esteem is it's essentially comparative and essentially competitive so it sort of feeds into some of the reasons girls and boys find adolescence to be so difficult.
"For my self-esteem to be high depends on yours being slightly lower."
Self-compassion is about finding a gentler and kinder voice to talk to yourself with and also allowing yourself to be who you are, she says, "rather than comparing and despairing".
Rachel Kelly Photo: supplied
When young people are struggling, it's important to get them into counselling as early as possible, Kelly says, before patterns of negative thinking don't get entrenched.
"They may not have had trouble for very long and outcomes are quite good especially if they get that support and get it young and get it early."
She hopes we can "completely radicalise" the education system and begin to teach kids when they're very young about mental health, self-care and self-compassion.
"When I see schools that are doing this stuff and supporting young people, it's working beautifully."
And what can parents do to support a teen girl's mental health?
First, accept that they're growing up in a new world with different pressures than what you experienced.
"All of us adults and parents have to really empathise and fully try to understand what that is really like… and acknowledge that maybe we're not going to fully understand."
Overall, the best thing you can do for your child, Kelly says, is be committed to your own happiness.
"You are there for modelling how to lead a full, satisfying, happy and content life.
"Look after yourself as a parent, line up with what gives you joy and that allows your children to find their joy in turn."
Where to get help:
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Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
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Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
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Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
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Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
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Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
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Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
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What's Up: online chat (3pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 helpline (12pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-11pm weekends)
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Kidsline (ages 5-18): 0800 543 754 (24/7)
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Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
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Healthline: 0800 611 116
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Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
