She saved $US100,000 before the age of 25, but Tori Dunlap wants us to think about money as more than a bank balance.
Having money means having choices about having children, leaving a bad relationship or a bad job - and that's what she did, walking away from a job she hated and starting a financial education company called Her First 100K.
Photo: herfirst100k.com
Dunlap calls herself the financial feminist, coaching millions of women on how to negotiate better salaries, pay off debt and save money through her popular TikTok videos and podcast.
She's now written her first book called Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy's Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love.
The idea behind financial feminism is if you get your own finances in order, then you can better help others, she tells Jesse Mulligan.
“This idea of aeroplane finances, right? You've put on your own oxygen mask, so you can help others.
“We also want to start using our resources to build a plane where everybody does get an oxygen mask.”
Shame, she believes, holds many people back from having open discussions about money.
“I can speak as an American, but I know that this is the reality for most countries, the narrative about talking about money is taboo, this narrative that you shouldn't talk about money, it's gauche, it's impolite, it's tacky.”
This is something that is perpetuated to keep marginalised groups underpaid and overworked, she says.
“One of the easiest things you can do to start changing the reality not only for yourself, but for society, is to start having those conversations.”
Colleagues of hers who in all other respects are high achievers, baulk at the idea of discussing money, she says.
“We have a member of our investing education platform, I remember in the early days, she's like 'I am a doctor, I went through many, many years of school, I am very, very intelligent, very capable'.
“And yet I am terrified to have any sort of conversation, for potentially feeling stupid, potentially feeling ashamed.”
While the responsibility for managing your own money more effectively can seem a burden, it can also be a source of pride and motivation, she says.
“You have a beautiful opportunity to either go 'Oh god, it's all me,' or 'wow! it's all me'. I get to make the decisions I want to make, I get to manage my money and spend my money and save my money on the things that are important to me.”
One way to liberate funds is to stop spending money on things such as subscriptions you no longer use, she says.
“One of the things I say repeatedly is you don't need to stop spending money, but I need you to stop spending money on things you don't care about.
“So, if you get a lot of joy out of your Netflix subscription, great, there's absolutely no reason to cancel that.
“But if you are subscribed to something that you haven't logged in and months, or you've completely forgotten about, I would rather you take your very hard-earned money, because you worked really hard for that money, and spend it on something you really love instead.”
Financial Feminist book cover Photo: supplied
Feeling lukewarm interest about something isn't enough anymore, Dunlap says.
“It's 2023, our lives need to be piping hot in every aspect. I want a really healthy romantic relationship, I want great friendships, I want to show up for myself, I want my money working really hard for me to give me the most kickass life possible.
“So, I think that one of the things we can really focus on when it comes to spending is rather than feeling like I need to deprive myself, I need to cut everything, It's more what am I spending my money on that makes me feel lukewarm, or that I only kind of care about and instead either save the money or spend it on things that really light me up.”
And use the automation that governs so much of our spending to make constant savings, no matter how small, she says.
“The point I make is not necessarily cancelling Netflix, but if you are giving this huge multi-billion-dollar corporation more money than you are setting aside for future you, I think you're at least but probably more deserving of that money than Netflix is.”
