The stories we tell ourselves are not absolutely true, they're just stories, says American polymath Derek Sivers (@sivers).
Whatever you believe – i.e. "'Wellington's a great place to live' or 'Wellington's a terrible place to live'" – it's helpful to remain a little unconvinced, he tells Jesse Mulligan.
"Scepticism can be so healthy to help dissolve those stories we tell ourselves – and then you realise you're free to make up your own story that serves you better."
Wellington-based entrepreneur and writer Derek Sivers Photo: Supplied
So far, Sivers has been many things – a musician, programmer, TED speaker and circus performer. He sold his first company CDBaby for US$22 million and gave all the money to charity.
In 2012, when Sivers and his partner were living in Singapore, the birth of a son got him thinking that the highly efficient island country didn't offer enough outdoor opportunities.
"I thought if he could grow up anywhere in the world I thought what would be the best place to grow up? Of course, New Zealand … So I did about nine months of paperwork, became a legal resident and moved here for the sole purpose of raising my son, and just so glad I did. I've felt a much deeper connection to it since then."
The family first moved to Wellington in 2013 and in 2020 settled in Aotearoa for good.
Now 53, Sivers left the United States 13 years ago, and in the spirit of "burning the ships" – a metaphor for forcing yourself to push ahead when you're tempted to retreat – has since given up his US citizenship.
"It was my comfort zone … I just could tell that any time things got tough I just wanted to retreat to my comfort zone, so I just had to burn the ship."
In recent years, Sivers has evolved a large audience for his thought-provoking books and TED talks.
Back in Wellington, he's often found watching his son jump off rocks at the seashore.
"My favourite neighbourhood in all of Wellington is called Breaker Bay – it's those craggy rocks just past the airport runway. We've spent a lot of his childhood there… he's 11 now and ever since he was 1 year old we've spent hours on those craggy rocks. Broken bones can take months to heal but fear can take a lifetime to heal. I'd much rather he break a bone than live with fear.
"A rule of thumb I've had since I was a teenager is 'whatever scares you, go do it'. I think it's a really good compass to follow.'
Although Sivers is very proud to be a New Zealand citizen – " I look at my black passport with a deep sense of happiness and identity " – he's feeling overdue for another OE.
"I think we all occasionally need an OE to shake things up and also to remind us how nice we have it here."
Sivers enjoys getting to know different countries. Two months ago it was the – surprisingly nice – Indian city of Bangalore where he connected with several people who had corresponded with him.
Sivers invites communication from anyone and everyone and says one of the greatest joys of his life is his email inbox.
This first RNZ interview is something of a self-introduction to the people of New Zealand, he says.
"I've been hiding here, speaking to a worldwide audience, but never really spoken to my local audience, so hi neighbours! Send me an email and introduce yourself. I would love to meet more of my neighbours here."
