The Watchers is the directorial debut of Ishana Shyamalan, produced by her rather more famous father M Night Shyamalan.
In it, a young woman (Dakota Fanning) finds herself trapped in the Irish woods by a mysterious group.
The Watchers - akaThe Watched in some markets - was originally a novel by Irish writer A M Shine, of whom I know very little except he lives in Galway and goes in for something called Literary Horror.
Which is presumably why Ishana Shyamalan took an interest in his book.
The question that became increasingly insistent as The Watchers got underway was "Would this film have seen the light if Ishana's dad had been somebody else?"
Far be it from me to invoke the trendy insult "nepo baby", but I doubt it. M Night Shyamalan actually produced the film.
We open on our heroine Mina, played by Dakota Fanning, who works at a Galway pet shop.
Mina's given a parrot to take to Belfast. But before she goes, she puts on a wig and goes to a pub, looking for trouble.
You're possibly thinking Promising Young Woman at this stage, sticking it to the patriarchy perhaps? But it doesn't seem to be that. It doesn't seem to be anything. It's certainly never referred to again.
You're going to have to get used to this, by the way. Maybe Ishana Shyamalan had a whole pile of movie scenes in a bottom drawer and was determined to fit as many as possible into her first film.
In case there isn't a second one, perhaps?
Anyway, she's driving through a forest - not questioning why the highway from Galway to Belfast should suddenly turn into the back of beyond - when the car breaks down.
She takes the parrot - remember the parrot? - and goes exploring.
And who's this in front of her but a strange blonde Irish woman, summoning her to a door that leads to a mysterious room in the middle of a forest?
All right, a mysterious Coop. So there's Mina and blonde Madeline, and also a couple of youngies - Ciara and Daniel - and they all seem to be on standby.
Apparently they're on show in front of an invisible audience.
Mina steps up in front of the mysterious Watchers, and then…. And then what, A M Shine and Ishana Shyamalan?
We seem to be trapped in a strange, endless limbo for no apparent duration and to no apparent purpose.
And while The Watchers is having a good time turning its lowish budget into a few decent shocks - watch out for those birds! - it doesn't seem to be in any great hurry to go anywhere with them.
This being a Shyamalan project, we're already on the lookout for a tricksy ending, which has been the family gimmick ever since The Sixth Sense first pulled the rug under everyone who saw it.
But being on our guard is never a good thing when we're meant to be engaged by a tantalising story.
The other thing to try and avoid is too many arbitrary rules being imposed on the narrative. You have to do this? You're not allowed to do that? Who says? And woe betide you if you start making too many exceptions along the way.
Frankly I was far more interested in why Dakota Fanning put on that wig at the start, and why she seemed incapable of doing anything without taking that parrot with her.
I discovered good news and bad news after I eventually escaped The Watchers - it's one of those films that feels a good thirty or forty minutes longer than it actually is.
There's a sequel to the novel out any day now, so Ishana and her Dad may very well get to make The Watchers 2. And of course that's the bad news too. I think I might give that one a swerve.
