Many grandparents are involved in helping raise their grandchildren to support working parents.
Dr Tessa Grigg is the co-author of a new book for grandparents - a guide to helping bring up well rounded, emotionally balanced grandchildren - even if you only look after them a few hours a week.
It's called Grandparenting Grandchildren: new knowledge and know-how for grandparenting the under 5s.
Photo: supplied
Grigg says she and co-author Joan Williams acknowledge a lot of grandparents naturally have the know-how for dealing with children, but times have also changed.
For instance, it's important to talk with your own children (the parents) about acceptable ways of modifying behaviour, she says.
"We know more about how to manage children, and I think that grandparents can certainly learn those ways.
"I think it's about people understanding why hitting is not a successful technique and we've got a whole section about alternatives to smacking."
Another change of the times means sugary treats shouldn't be all that defines a visit to the grandparents, she says.
"I think that there are alternatives that people have worked out, that are still treats but maybe not quite so full of sugar.
"I think it's about finding a balance and not saying no, you can't have any sweets but just make that that's not all they eat when they're at grandma's [place]."
Griggs also understands the inclination to leave all the disciplining for parents and just have fun, but says often the line between grandparenting and parenting blur.
"I think what happens these days is that quite often grandparents are more involved and so therefore the children, it's kind of more of a normal life as opposed to just a treat with grandma.
"Even if you're not a full-time parent of your grandchildren, take time to spend time with them so that you build these relationships and provide them [with] the richness of what you can provide.
"I think what children really want more than anything is time, and if you have the luxury of having more time with your grandchildren that's just precious, particularly under five [years old]."
Try to also learn the routines that grandchildren have at home so you can duplicate it too, she says.
"Sometimes they're quite small tricks [to get them to bed], but they make a huge difference. Families function so much better when people are sleeping."
Griggs and Williams also have a chapter called 'Talk, Read, Play and be a Tech Dinosaur', where they discuss the advantages of not being tech savvy or having all the latest gadgets.
"I think that grandparents can provide things that parents don't always have time to do.
"I mean stuff like baking, you know it's messy when you bake was preschoolers and you have to have time to enjoy it and be prepared for failures and stuff.
"But I think that if you can do those kind of fun things then children get the idea that it is fun at grandma's, you don't have to have all the latest technology."
Grandparents are also great conversers for children because they usually have time to wander off in different tangents, which is important for development, she says.
"I know my mother-in-law had a PhD in reading the same story over and over again to her grandchild, and she didn't seem to mind, whereas I was probably a bit busy.
"But grandparents often workout that if that's what the child wants that's a really good thing to do, and I think also grandparents are good at ... [knowing] children need to have good social and emotional development.
"There's so many concepts hidden in books and if you take the time, you can explore those concepts, lots of social and emotional stuff going on in books if you stop and smell the roses on your way through the story."
Dr Tessa Grigg is a part time lecturer and teaching assistant at the University of Canterbury, and has extensive experience in teaching and child development. Her co-author Dr Joan Williams is adjunct senior lecturer at James Cook University in Queensland.
