Sonny Bill Williams is a star across three rugby codes, an NZPBA heavyweight boxing champion, and an Olympian.
During his 17-year rugby career, Sonny Bill was part of the Rugby World Cup winning sides in 2011 and 2015, as well as a Super Rugby title with the Chiefs.
But controversy has also tracked his professional career; alcohol and drug abuse, breaking his contract with the Bulldogs to go play rugby union in France and accusations of chasing money.
His memoir, You Can't Stop the Sun from Shining, was co-written with Alan Duff and gives insight into the low self-esteem of a young man who was really just a boy when first scouted by the Bulldogs.
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Speaking from his home in Sydney, Sonny Bill Williams tells Kathryn Ryan his move to Australia at the age of 14 to join the Bulldogs came from a childhood drive to succeed.
"I thought that the guy was just doing me a favour, even when I signed my contract.
"But I think that with a lot of other things that happened in my childhood, [it] really drove me to push myself to levels that I still look back at now and think, man, that was crazy. I was a little bit of a psychopath when it came to sport and how dedicated I was.
"Outrageous flash offloads, big hits were born in the backyard down the road with the cousins and the extended family, and then even trying to do the big hits on my sisters and my brother... it's not a surprise when I see my sister, who plays for the New Zealand Sevens, the way that she plays footy, because that was born in the household too."
His severe burns on his legs after an accident in preschool and coming from a mixed-race family further accentuated his self-esteem problems, he says.
"In primary school, I used to get called 'Kentucky Fried Chicken legs', and I remember going to intermediate on the first day and I wore shorts and I remember walking down the corridor and girls stopping and saying 'oh my god, look at his legs'. I never wore shorts to school from then."
It egged him on to want to succeed, to buy his mother a house, to be the best player, he says, and out of that his impactful shoulder charge was born.
"Someone who goes through that type of trauma, I used it for positivity in the only way I could and that was through training hard.
"When we look at the Polynesian players, they're really big and physical and strong, and here I was this little white skinny, lanky fella claiming to be Samoan, well, for anyone that thought otherwise, I was going to show them, and that's where the shoulder charge came from."
Although his father wasn't the best husband, Williams says, he was still a great father who saw talent in his children before they even came to realise it.
"My relationship with my father is unreal now, because I understand the hardship and struggles that they went through, because that's all they've ever known. You have to give grace.
"My household growing up, it wasn't about thriving, it was about surviving, pay cheque to pay cheque."
It meant he never got a chance to understand the struggles off-field before he went to Australia and how to deal with them, he says.
In league, he won NRL titles with the Canterbury Bulldogs and Sydney Roosters.
After being voted one of the top 13 players in the world and achieving a lifelong dream of playing for the NRL, everything came crashing down when he lost his way, he says.
"It was just self-destruction ... it all came too fast, like I said I was never instilled or helped with the pressures that would come off the field. I struggled with it, I made a lot of selfish decisions and thought 'well I made it, I can go drink with the boys because that's all we do'.
"All those poor decisions, all those selfish decisions, treating my body the way I was, treating women the way I was, it was eating away at my soul and I felt like I just was soulless at that time."
He had a tough time confronting his problems head on and wanted to run away, but his problems only followed him to France, he says.
And it didn't come easy, breaking his contract with the Bulldogs meant he was nearly $1 million in debt.
So Anthony Mundine lent him the money interest-free, and Khoder Nasser - who was a manager for both then - offered Williams a venture into boxing to help pay off a little of what he owed.
"It's funny, at the start it was through necessity, and now I've gone to love it so much that even through I've hung up the boots, I'm getting back in the ring and I've given myself a couple of years where I want to dedicate myself to boxing craft, just to see where it takes me but also just to tick that box and close that door as well."
Thanks to the likes of Jonny Wilkinson and Tana Umaga, Williams was able to gain confidence overseas before taking on a challenge to return to compete against the best in New Zealand, despite the next French team coach offering him a spot, he says.
It was also through Nasser that Williams learnt about Islam and eventually converted, which he says helped him face his inner demons.
"I've always believed in God and in the oneness in of God but hanging around with Khoder and the Muslim brothers and finding out more about Islam and the structure of it, it really connected with me.
"Firstly it connected in the sense that it's a daily thing, it help with the daily struggles that I was facing and then secondly it just connected with me, it connected with my soul and just made me happy."
He knows that he's by no means perfect, he says, and that he's always a work in progress.
"Through education and through upskilling myself, I've come to where I am in my life, where I'm really happy and content in what I am and who I'm trying to be.
"Sometimes I've made a lot of mistakes but when I look at the man I see in the mirror today, I'm really proud, because I know although those struggles are still there, I strive daily to be better."
His four children and wife have been important in his perseverance, he says.
"The blessings that come with the kids is twofold because you love your kids so much, you see a little bit of you in each of the kids but also the teachings they give you, you've got to be more patient, you've got to be more resilient, because the struggle is real sometimes, they don't care who you are, they don't care you played for the All Blacks or done this or that, they just see you as dad."
