People of all ages and stages can be affected by imposter syndrome and worried that they don't measure up, says Bex Bell.
Bell, who has a PhD in criminal psychology, is the founder of Remix Coaching and Consulting .
She has had her own struggles with relentless mental chatter and she looks at the syndrome in a new book, Inner Critic to Inner Coach.
Bex Bell Photo: © Astrolabe Wines
Sitting at the heart of imposter syndrome are beliefs about competence, Bell told Nine to Noon.
“They essentially set us up with such unrealistically high standards of performance for ourselves that instantly, even if there's a successful outcome, we will discount that successful outcome because we rationalise that it wasn't good enough, it wasn't perfect enough.”
This notion of not owning and internalising successes leads to a sense that we’re fluking it, she says.
“We know from neuroscience that it is absolutely possible to learn new ways of thinking and behaving. And I find that really hopeful.”
It's best not to stop negative thoughts, Bell says.
“We get lots of advice about 'just think positive', and it sends the message that we can't be successful until we completely eradicate that inner critic or delete it completely.
“But it is very normal for our mind to spit up negative thoughts like that. It's actually a protective thing, it's your mind doing exactly what it's designed to do.”
It's far better to create space for them, she says.
“To not freak out when they show up and to not interpret them instantly as a red flag that you're incompetent… just to accept and acknowledge, 'okay this is my mind doing what it's designed to do. It's just my inner critic showing up'.”
While we all have an inner critic, we also have an inner coach we can draw on, she says.
“If you imagine an inner critic sitting on one shoulder, which is saying, 'hey you suck and you're not good enough imposter', on the other shoulder is your inner coach, which is always accessible to you.
“And it's that voice of encouragement and support and empowerment, and the voice that is actually going to help you do your best work and live your best life.”
Read an extract from Inner Critic to Inner Coach
Spoiler Alert! It’s not a syndrome; it’s an Impostor-Flavoured Inner Critic
People refer to it as the Impostor ‘Syndrome’. Is it really a syndrome?
No! Feeling like an incompetent fraud despite your success is not actually a syndrome. You won’t find an Impostor Syndrome section in the big diagnostic books that medical and mental health professionals use to diagnose disorders. Just to clarify, the reason I’ve still used the ‘syndrome’ terminology in the title of this book is because that’s what people most easily recognise. But I switched to calling it the Impostor-Flavoured Inner Critic as soon as possible in our Critic to COACH journey to stay well away from any suggestion that you have some kind of illness for feeling like an impostor. Because you don’t.
As we’ll discuss, there’s a range of completely understandable reasons why you feel like an impostor sometimes. It’s not a disease and you don’t need fixing. It doesn’t define you. It’s simply one part of you and it doesn’t have to be the ruling force of your life.
How can I tell if I have an Impostor-Flavoured Inner Critic?
You’ve probably got a pretty good idea by now from hearing about my experiences, but let’s look through the questions below to double-check:
> Do you secretly worry you’re not as bright, capable or qualified as everyone thinks you are?
> Do you chalk your accomplishments up to luck, timing, connections or even computer error?
> Do you believe the idea that If I can do it, anybody can?
> Do you agonise over the smallest flaws in your work?
> Are you crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your ineptness?
> When you do succeed, do you secretly feel you fooled them again?
> Do you worry that it’s just a matter of time before you’re ‘found out’?
> In relation to your success, do you often think I was just in the right place at the right time?
> Do you ever think you do well purely because you work harder and longer than others?
Did you answer yes to lots of these? Join the Impostor Club, my friend.
Photo: Supplied
When two psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, initially discovered this experience back in 1978, they called it the Impostor Phenomenon (yes, that’s right, it was never intended to be called a syndrome!). Clance and Imes’ discovery came from observations from students in their classes, clients in psychotherapy, and self-reports of high-achieving women who, despite obvious success, struggled to internalise their achievements. Instead, they chalked their success and accomplishments up to external factors, like good luck, fluke, good timing, being well connected, or having a pleasant personality. Clance and Imes described this phenomenon as a sense of intellectual and professional fraudulence and a belief that you’re fooling people into thinking you’re more competent than you are.
The important thing to note here is that this is very different to actual fraudulence. That would be, for example, claiming you have a qualification you don’t have. Instead, we’re talking about the perception that you’re fraudulently succeeding despite significant evidence to show you are indeed a very competent, capable person. You’ll know you have this type of Inner Critic if you do, or experience, these three things:
1. A tendency to externalise your accomplishments. This is just the geek-speak way of saying that you tend to discount your accomplishments because you attribute your accomplishments to factors like good luck, good timing, flukes, someone wanting to give you a chance, or even having a nice personality. This is in contrast to internalising your accomplishments by acknowledging that factors like your skills, knowledge, capabilities and sheer hard work made a significant contribution. While it’s true that good luck and good timing often do play into success, when you have an Impostor-Flavoured Inner Critic, it will say it’s the only reason you succeeded.
2. Given that you discount your contribution to your success and accomplishments, you feel a weird sense of disconnection to anything you achieve — as if you just got lucky and don’t really deserve it. Consequently, you feel like you’re fooling people into thinking you’re more competent than you are.
3. You’ll experience varying levels of fear and anxiety about being found out as an incompetent fraud who doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Instead of interrupting the feeling of fraudulence, every new accomplishment becomes further evidence of your fraudulence.
How common is it to have an Impostor-Flavoured Inner Critic?
The quick answer is: Really common. The more accurate answer is: It depends who we’re talking about. It’s tricky to provide a blanket estimate because the experience can vary among different populations and across contexts. Additionally, it’s not always something people speak openly about. Therefore, it can often go unreported, making precise estimates challenging. Likewise, it’s hard to rule out if the published studies that mention prevalence aren’t suffering from publication bias, whereby only those studies with reasonable rates of people who feel like impostors are published, creating an overestimation of prevalence.
All of that tricky stuff aside, if you’re just looking for a ballpark idea, the most common statistic you’ll see is scholars estimating that about 70 per cent of successful people reported feeling like an impostor at some point in their life. Anecdotally, I agree that rates of people experiencing an internal sense of fraudulence despite their achievements are high. Right before public speaking engagements, I worry that it’ll be the day the audience stares at me with a confused look, thinking, Why the hell is she coming to talk to us about this? I have no idea what she’s talking about. I always feel good enough; I never feel like an impostor. To this day, and many seminars later, this has never happened. In contrast, the room is typically united by a shared understanding and sense of camaraderie from feelings of inadequacy despite an endless string of accomplishments and achievements.
Extract from Inner Critic to Inner Coach: How to Heal the Imposter Syndrome, End Self-Sabotage and Own Your Greatness, Upstart Press $39.99 RRP.
