Joey Hoofdman (2nd from left) with four of his approximately 90 biological half siblings Photo: supplied
Joey Hoofdman has 90 siblings – that he knows of. The reality is, it’s likely that number is closer to 200.
Joey's biological father was Jan Karbaat – a Dutch fertility doctor who inseminated Joey's mother with his own sperm, without her knowledge.
Karbaat, who died in 2017, is believed to have fathered possibly hundreds of children in the same way.
Joey Hoofdman features in the short film Seeds of Deceit, which you can watch here:
Growing up, Joey says he did not look like the dark-haired man he had believed was his biological father – or share his character traits.
“I did not recognise myself in him," he tells Kim Hill.
Yet over the years, Joey tried really hard to work on himself and on their father-son bond: “But I always knew something was wrong... It became almost an obsession.”
When Joey's father died in 2012, he thought he'd never know the truth. But after ten years of doubt, when he was in his 20s Joey finally asked his mum how he was conceived.
“Maybe I’m from a friend of the family or a neighbour?” he thought.
Joey’s mother told him that before his birth she had visited a private fertility clinic near Rotterdam where she was told she wouldn't be able to fall pregnant to her husband without the help of the doctor, Jan Karbaat.
“The doctor was also a farmer, so I thought it was a really strange story."
Joey decided to google Karbaat: “I saw a photo of him in his younger years and it shocked me because it was almost as if I could see myself. It was like an electric shock went through my body when I saw the photo for the first time... then I knew there was something wrong.”
Joey went to the Rotterdam clinic but was told by Karbaat’s wife that it wasn’t a good time and that he should speak to his mother and come back later. A week later Karbaat died.
The questions still lingered and Joey asked his family to take DNA tests. Most of them agreed but on the condition that he would then stop his quest for answers, which was taking a toll on his mum.
When the DNA tests seemed to prove Joey wasn’t his father’s biological child, he felt sure he had a genetic connection to Karbaat and took the matter to court.
Eventually, Joey received permission to take DNA samples from Karbaat’s belongings - things like his socks, toothbrush, a nose trimmer.
“It was a 99.9 percent match that Dr Jan Kabaat was my legal father.”
There are currently 90 people known to be fathered by Kabaat, Joey says.
“We only think we have the top of the iceberg because in his clinic he helped 10,000 women. He only had probably a dozen donors – there's a big chance [the number of people fathered by Kabaat] could be on the 200-300 side.”
Several women have come forward to say Kabaat abused them in his clinic.
“We also found out there are cases where he didn’t just impregnate the women with semen but also with water just to gain money. It’s really shocking to hear those kinds of things about your biological father.”
Joey finds himself looking at people on the street and wondering whether they are also his siblings - The Netherland’s isn’t very big and there are standout facial features shared by the already-discovered siblings.
“I went to a party last year and I met a brother just on the street, it’s just crazy.”
There have also been cases where siblings who don't know each other have matched on Tinder, only to later find out they’re related, he says.
Joey’s mother remains traumatised by her experience.
“She’s not angry and I hope she doesn’t look at me differently, but she’s scared she’ll lose me to my new family so she’s really trying to protect her family. She doesn’t want to meet my other half-siblings because it’s hurting her too much and I have to respect that. At the same time, I want to meet my new half brothers and sisters and not have my mother in mind saying 'you cannot do it'.”
So far, Joey has met 40 or 50 of his half-siblings and twice a year they all gather.
With so many siblings already, Joey has decided he doesn’t want to have his own children – he feels like he’s the result of human mass production, something like a clone.
“A lot of brothers and sisters want to break the chain [of Kabaat’s heritage].”
Joey Hoofdman is now an advocate for the rights of children conceived by sperm donation.
