Are you sensitive, maybe overly sensitive, you think?
There's a new book for you, it's called Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World.
In a world where sensitivity is often regarded as a weakness, co-author of the book, Andrew Solo argues that in fact sensitive people have a rocket strapped to their back.
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[audio_play} Listen to the full conversation
“In the real world sensitive people are the varsity athletes of noticing what other people don't,” Solo told Anna Thomas.
“They read the room better than anyone else, they connect dots between ideas better than anyone else and oftentimes, they see patterns and predict outcomes better than anyone else.
“And that's all because sensitive people are actually wired at a brain level to process information more deeply - which can be quite a superpower.”
A sensitive person is one who responds more to their environment, he says.
“Sensitive people tend to notice that fleeting hint of a smile that crosses someone’s face for a half second before they manage to hide it.
“And the sensitive person might say, ‘wait a minute, they're hiding something, they're lying about something’ and notice that when no one else does.”
Sensitivity, Solo argues, is an evolutionary advantage for all of humankind, not just the sensitive individual.
“If we think way back to the Ice Age, or the caveman days, sensitive people were probably the trackers, people who can predict weather, the people who could notice patterns and broker truces between different tribes, and the people who could do long term planning, it's a very valuable skill.
“And of course, that still pays off today. And everything from science and innovation to politics and leadership to business.”
There is a cost to these gifts however, he says.
“When your brain is processing all that information very deeply, that works great if you're in an environment that's calm, where you have time to think about things, and you can take a break if you need to.
“But if you're in a really crowded, chaotic, busy environment, where everything's coming at you fast, your brain can't go deep on everything, it just can't. And so, it struggles to keep up. And that's when sensitive, people start to feel overstimulated.”
One of the most powerful gifts sensitive people have is what he and his co-author call the “boost effect” whereby they receive more benefit from positive experiences such as therapy of strong relationships, than less sensitive peers.
“If you're a sensitive person, you're walking around with a rocket engine strapped to your back. And the only thing you have to do to ignite it is to start to build sources of support into your life, whether that be classes and mentors, or coaching or therapy, or simply curating a really good group of friends around you who are going to be socially supportive and encourage you and build you up. Those are things you can do to ignite that boost effect.”
Sensitive people tend to have more empathy, he says, which is not the same as compassion.
“Empathy is the experience of simply picking up the emotions of someone else, a feeling inside yourself of what someone else is feeling. And that's something we all do, it can be a useful thing obviously, it can heal relationships, it can bring people together, it's a powerful source of bonding and for morality, but sensitive people tend to be much more empathetic.
“And that's true, both and how much empathy they self-report when you just give them an empathy test. But it's also true, we can see that at brain level where the areas of the brain related to empathy are much more active for sensitive people.”
Compassion is very different, he says
“Compassion may or may not include feeling what the other person is feeling. But it always includes some level of understanding of the other person, and some effort to move toward them and help them.”
So, if you are sensitive, own it, he says.
“Embrace your sensitivity and when you do, you're going to unlock those gifts, you're gonna find out that you're actually able to start doing the things with your life that you hope to do and that your talents are going to shine through that other people will notice them too. So, celebrate being sensitive.”
