Parliament is back. It has lifted the coffin lid and stumbled back into the daylight.
It was minutes away from officially dissolving when it gained a new grasp on life, if a brief one. And yes, that is very unusual. Surely special enough to deserve a name.
New Zealand’s parliamentary terms don’t usually get named. There are exceptions. During World War one Parliament was extended and became known as “The Long Parliament”.
They named things best in 'Ye Olde England'
King Charles I as painted by van Dyke. Photo: Bloomsbury
Our Long Parliament wasn’t original. The British Parliament once gained epithets regularly, especially during the 17th century. The Long Parliament was one of those, but there were other, better names.
Among them are the Blessed Parliament (famous for the gunpowder plot), the Addled Parliament (which lasted two months), the Useless Parliament (so-called by King Charles I, whose wings it tried and failed to clip - he dissolved it), the Happy Parliament (a sarcastic name - the MPs were at each other’s throats and met for three months in three years).
There were also obvious descriptors like the Short Parliament (which lasted three weeks after 11 years with no parliament at all), and the Long Parliament (which refused to be dissolved, and lasted 20 years and various experiments in government). It lasted through the English Civil War and most of the Interregnum).
Wish I’d called it that
My favourite names though are from two shorter periods of the Long Parliament.
The Rump Parliament were the leftovers of the long parliament after a purge of MPs loyal to the crown. It’s the first known use of rump to mean remnant (which suggests an intended meaning closer to ‘arse-end’ than ‘chosen few’.) Either way it's fitting to a meeting of Parliament referred to as a ‘sitting’.
The very best name of them all is Barebone’s Parliament. It was the first parliament called a ‘parliament’, but ironically wasn’t elected, but nominated by Oliver Cromwell’s people and some puritan churches.
Many of the MPs were devout religious puritans such as were satirized in Blackadder: “At our house Nathanael sits on a spike. And I sit on Nathanael. Two spikes would be an extravagance.”
The Parliament became known for one of them; Mr Praise-God Barebone, partly because he had a very mockable name - (these Parliament's weren't often named by their friends). He got off lucky, his son may have been named Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebone'.
Naming an encore
Many MPs have already said good-bye to the 52nd, expecting never to return Photo: VNP / Daniela Maoate-Cox
Which brings us to the current parliament. It is not creatively named. It is the 52nd parliament, because, it’s the one after the 51st.
This reprise is unusual though - and surely deserves a name.
There were farewells, an adjournment debate, end-of-parliament parties for various departing MP’s. It all got very end-of-term. Everyone went home.
And then just minutes before it was due to be officially killed off with the formal public reading of the Dissolution Proclamation from the Governor General - it was given a reprieve.
Like the star in a blockbuster, it looked all-but-gone but it never quite died. And now it is back. Kind-of. At least back in parts.
It isn’t planning to debate any legislation, the select committees have largely stayed quiet, but it is fulfilling one of its core functions, oversight. Parliaments have numerous functions but oversight is the most noticeable one.
How about...?
So what should we call this 52nd parliament? Or possibly just its addenda?
- The Skeleton Parliament - because the fewer MPs in attendance are a skeleton crew.
- The Revenant Parliament - because it keeps coming back.
- The Indissoluble Parliament - so-far it seems impervious to dissolution.
- The Rump Parliament - retiring MPs have stayed away.
- The LotR Parliament - because Peter Jackson’s series also had too many endings.
Or maybe we should just be naming these last two weeks:
- The Encore, the Reprise, the Addenda, the Denouement?
- the 13th Round?
- The Epilogue?
- The Arse-end (which feels more Kiwi than plain rump)?
- Or maybe we should call it The Parson’s Nose.
The Parson's Nose is arguably a name worthy of one of those English puritans, it’s short, it hangs off the arse-end of a larger beast, it packs a punch and can be the best bit of the bird, it is by definition already cooked, and is the last part from which a parading rooster can wave its panache.
