ANZ see three cases of romance or friendship scamming each week. Photo: Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Phoebe had been talking to a man she met on Tinder for a couple of months, when she realised something was not right.
It was her first experience of online dating after a long-term relationship and the man told her he was in the army, stationed overseas.
"It went from Tinder to Whatsapp, sending photos of himself and he proceeded to tell me about his life story."
He said his wife had died, his son lived elsewhere and he couldn't have his camera on when they video-called, because of army rules.
After about two months, he asked her to send US$100 to buy something for his son, because he was unable to do it, due to where he was with the army.
Phoebe, whom RNZ has agreed not to identify, said she was about to send the money, but became concerned.
The man started to send her aggressive messages. Remembering she could Google an image, she looked for information about the photos he had supplied. She discovered the man was a scammer, using the stolen images of another man.
"I found out he'd scammed multiple women."
She said she had been caught at a time when she was vulnerable. Apart from the financial scam, she was upset the man had tried to con her into sexual activities and phone sex.
Phoebe said the experience was her "first and last" foray into online dating, and now she hoped to meet someone in a more organic way - although it was a hard, "being a bit older".
The country's biggest bank, ANZ, said Valentine's Day was a good opportunity to remind people of the prevalence of romance scams.
Payments NZ reported an overall loss of $194.2 million by New Zealanders to romance and relationship scams in the past year.
"Romance scams do not discriminate," ANZ head of customer protection Alan Thomsen said. "They impact all age groups and genders, and often victims are too embarrassed to come forward.
"At ANZ, we wanted to break down the barriers and encourage Kiwis to talk more openly about this insidious crime - how easy it is to be duped. It's important we raise awareness around what to look out for and what to do,"
ANZ see about three cases a week, where customers suffered a financial loss from a romance or friendship scam. The average loss was $13,500, compared to $2500 for other types of scam.
"Romance scams can be hard to spot, and fraudsters are calculated and use psychological tactics to build trust before striking," Thomsen said,
Red flags would be emotional manipulation, such as love-bombing and creating a false sense of trust, avoiding meetings, avoiding video calls and requesting money.
The Banking Ombudsman often deals with complaints about relationship scams. In 2020, a woman complained that her mother had been allowed to send $500,000 to a fraudster, via a money transfer service, and obtained bank loans totalling $365,000 to send more.
In 2021, another man sent $71,000 overseas to a fraudster.
Banking Ombudsman Nicola Sladden said there had not been a significant increase this year.
The first seven months of the financial year produced nine romance scam-related complaints, with two escalating to a formal investigation.
The previous financial year saw 17 scam-related complaints, of which four were formally investigated.
