Family of young man killed at Mt Roskill bar speak out for the first time

Tofimua Matagi's grandmother had a nifty way of checking to see if her grandsons arrived home safely each night - by looking for their work boots outside the back door.

But when Tofi's boots remained missing on the morning of Friday, 1 September, nana Ligi Sisikefu grew worried and began making phone calls; first to the hospital and then to her grandson's workplace.

Tofi, 25, would later be identified as the man found unresponsive after an assault at the Richardson's Bar and Restaurant in Mt Roskill, Auckland, late on August 31.

Despite medical assistance, he died at the scene and a homicide investigation was launched. Two days later, a 34-year-old man was arrested and charged with murder.

Speaking publicly for the first time, Tofi's family shared more about their son and brother, who had only been back in New Zealand since June after getting stuck in Niue before Covid-19 turned the world upside down.

"We have six children - three girls, three boys," his Australia-based father, Reverend Dr Matagi Vilitama says.

"All of them were very, very close and tight-knit."

Vilitama reveals Tofi, who is the second youngest, had been working as a mechanic in Niue when he injured his back. He came to New Zealand to seek medical attention.

Instead of going back to Niue, the young man decided to stay to help financially support his little sister, who had just started university. He got a powder-coating job and was planning to start a mechanic internship next year.

The siblings and another brother and his young family stayed together at the family house with their grandmother.

On the night he died, Tofi was invited by workmates to dinner at the Richardson's bar and restaurant.

"He had dinner with them, had a couple of drinks. He's an avid darts player. So of course, once he found out there was a darts board in the premises, he gravitated towards that."

Vilitama said his mother-in-law received a text from Tofi that evening.

"It said: 'Nana, I'm going to be a little bit late tonight'. His brother's a builder and nana would always go outside and go to the back room and see the two pairs of boots and notice that they're both in. But she could only see one pair of boots.

"Midway through the night, she went back again - there's only one pair. Tofi's boots were not there, so she knew he hadn't been in."

Police later arrived to break the news to the family. Tofi's older brother was tasked to call his parents, in Australia, to tell them.

"He just told us to sit down and [the police] had told him bad news," Vilitama says, becoming emotional.

More than 1000 people packed Auckland's Newton Pacific Islands Presbyterian Church to celebrate Tofi's life. Other services were held for family and friends in Niue.

His father says the huge turnout was a testament to the person Tofi was - friendly, kind, a man who valued friendships and was always looking out for the underdog.

"One of the fundamental teachings that we have, as Christians, is forgiveness. It's an important part of life. We do acknowledge and need to acknowledge the pain, the anger and the sense that we've been robbed of a son.

"But I don't think it's wise for any of us to carry hatred or even vengeance in our hearts because ... it will affect us who carry that.

"What I'd like for people to do is to learn to let go and to forgive. That's Tofi's mantra: 'Hold no grudges'."

"That was something he'd always say and that's something that reminded our family and ... it's the same message that I think we need to share with our community."

Despite that forgiveness, Vilitama expressed how raw it still was to grieve for a son in his 20s and navigate the family's new reality.

"We wouldn't wish this on any family," he says.

"Just love deeply, tell your children how much you love them and just share your love for one another. We do not know what tomorrow brings. The old are expected to die, but the young can die."

- This story was first published on the New Zealand Herald.