By Lusi Faiva
Lusi Faiva. Photo: Supplied / Jinki Cambronero / Touch Compass
On 24 July, the Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry's final report will be made public by the government. Ahead of the report's public release, survivors share their hopes for the healing process ahead.
First person - I don't like spending too much time dwelling on my experiences of state care when I was younger. From the age of two, until I was seven, I was forced to call the institution known as the Kimberley Centre home.
I was separated from my family and my Samoan heritage and placed in an institution where I felt isolated and alone. Because I don't communicate using my voice, the staff thought I had an intellectual disability, so they didn't bother trying to understand my needs or learn how to communicate with me. There were minimal activities and things to stimulate my mind or keep me busy. Each day was a dehumanising and lonely existence.
The negative impacts of my time at Kimberley extended far beyond the four walls of the institution and neglect by the staff. There were no opportunities for me to connect with my Samoan heritage, and the separation meant I missed out on learning the language traditions and who my family was. This cultural disconnect left a huge void in my life that has left lasting impacts I still battle with today.
Things did get better after I left Kimberley. I moved in with my aunt, opening my eyes to a home with lots of laughter filling the air and the warmth of shared meals together. It was a lot to adjust to at first, especially given how quiet and isolating the institution was. Most importantly, being back with family meant I was able to start understanding the richness of my culture and begin to feel a sense of belonging that I had never experienced before.
As I got older, I found new ways to continue connecting with my Samoan culture, primarily through movement and dance. Dance gave me a way to express myself in a way that didn't require words-it's my voice and my way of storytelling; it helps me connect with my emotions and celebrate my culture and heritage. Dance is healing and I am proud that the voice I have found is something that resonates with others as well.
Despite having some wonderful passions in my life that give me purpose, the scars of my past continue to flare up the trauma I went through. My journey towards gaining independence and accessing mana-enhancing and reliable support has been rocky. I am often left feeling trapped because of unreliable services. Usually, times, when a support worker is unavailable, the feeling of vulnerability can take me right back to being an ignored child in an institution.
Lusi Faiva. Photo: Supplied / Jinki Cambronero / Touch Compass
When I had the opportunity to share my experiences with the Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry, I knew that my story could contribute to the future of care in Aotearoa and help ensure my experience wouldn't happen again to other young disabled people.
I won't lie. It was hard to relive those past years of my childhood at Kimberley.
My emotions were running high, but I held on to knowing this was an opportunity to share my story in my own voice. I am grateful for the guidance of two people who gave me the love I needed to get through it.
Now that the Royal Commission has handed over its final report and it will soon be public, all of those shared stories and experiences, including my own, will be cemented in Aotearoa's history, hopefully never to be forgotten or repeated again.
The disability sector is going through a significant period of change.
I would like to see a future where there is a significant increase in access to the care and support of the service providers with a highly trained staff and support system that is flexible and reliable to meet all needs of disabled people who are living independently and in residential homes. I firmly believe this is a crucial step to ensure everyone has the same rights to live and get well-funded support for daily living.
I want New Zealanders, especially disabled New Zealanders, to engage with the report and learn about the history of abuse in institutions. We must be aware of this dark time in our history and have conversations with our families and support systems to understand what the right path looks like for us to go forward and shape a positive future full of possibilities.
I think about my future often, and I hope that we will learn from the Royal Commission's report and create a more positive future for our disabled communities.
I have hopes and goals to achieve, and I am working on making those happen so I can work towards being ultimately happy in my life.
Where to get help:
Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
What's Up: free counselling for 5 to 19 years old, online chat 11am-10.30pm 7days/week or free phone 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 11am-11pm Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm or text 832 Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.
Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
OUTLine: 0800 688 5463 (6pm-9pm)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
