Tangiwai Wilson died in August 2020, aged just 11. Photo: SUPPLIED
Warning: This story has mentions of suicide.
Tangiwai Wilson was a healthy kid who loved sports and dancing, her mum told a coroner, but while she thrived at primary school, things changed as she entered intermediate.
At just 11-years-old, Tangiwai died on 18 August 2020, in the home she shared with her grandmother, from what coroner Matthew Bates has ruled was a suicide.
Tangiwai - nicknamed Doddy by loved ones - was being bullied by her peers at the now-closed Melville Intermediate school, but both the school and her whānau were unaware of how bad things were.
Coroner Bates released his findings into Tangiwai's death on Thursday, and noted she had been threatened and chased by girls who tried to steal her phone.
The incident led to Tangiwai's grandmother calling the school and the principal told Tangiwai the girls wanted to apolgise to her - but they never showed up.
This was the only reported bullying incident made to the school, the principal said.
Photo: Victor Okhrimets / 123RF
The social media post
After the incident, Tangiwai's whānau said she seemed "fine", but a few days before her death she was bullied again by a boy at a local skate park who encouraged a group of girls to "assault her".
Tangiwai's mum told coroner Bates the incident "clearly upset her", but she "didn't like sharing her feelings" and it was difficult to get more information from her.
The next day - 16 August - Bates said Tangiwai was tagged in a social media post which had "extremely derogatory" information about her, which resulted in multiple people sending her the screenshot and asking questions about the post.
Tangiwai's boyfriend sent her a message on Instagram asking if she was "cheating" and followed that up with messages breaking up with her and telling her "not to do anything stupid".
The next morning Tangiwai told her grandmother she did not want to go back to school but would not say why - her grandmother allowed her to stay home but said she would have to go back the next day.
Tangiwai later sent a message to a social media contact who told her about the social media post, which said: "I just wish I was dead".
That afternoon she was added to an Instagram chat with four others named "sorry we don't like fake friends" - there were messages making fun of her, accusing her of cheating and doing sexual acts and making fake accounts.
A person Tangiwai knew then posted online messages that indicated they wanted to set up a fight between her and two girls. Coroner Bates said Tangiwai worried she would be assaulted.
In a message to a friend, she mentioned she was being bullied by two girls who she "thought were her friends".
Shortly after 8.30pm, Tangiwai texted a friend and said she was "thinking about ending my life", the friend saw the message and did not reply.
Emergency services were called to Tangiwai's home later that night, but unfortunately she died in the early hours of the morning.
Tangiwai's whānau did not know about the derogatory post made about her or the associated messaging and bullying in the Instagram group chat.
Photo: RNZ / Angus Dreaver
Police involvement
Police became involved after the online bullying came to light, and while they said they found the young people responsible for bullying Tangiwai and posting the social media post which was classed as a "harmful digital communication", they could not be prosecuted due to their young ages.
Police instead recommended they be educated on the harmful effects of social media to stop them doing it again.
A police spokesperson confirmed those involved underwent a police action plan which had been completed.
"Police and our partner agencies continue to work with youth around the country around the impacts of bullying and the safe use of social media."
'Significant and irreversible harm'
Bullying was a significant stressor for Tangiwai, coroner Bates said, along with the break-up, the social media post and domestic issues.
"In combination these matters appear to have been overwhelming for Tangiwai.
"Whatever the precise combination of factors, I find Tangiwai decided to end her life. There was no obvious indication to Tangiwai's whānau that she would take such drastic action."
Coroner Matthew Bates apologised to Erica Hume's family about delays in the inquest. Photo: RNZ / Jimmy Ellingham
While there was no prosecution of the bullies, coroner Bates said there was "no doubt" significant and irreversible harm could result from bullying whether in person or online.
"Such actions have real and tragic consequences. Engaging in bullying online is cowardly and harmful behaviour which is difficult for victims to escape, particularly if posts are distributed across several social media platforms or shared.
"It can be relentless. This type of behaviour must be condemned."
NetSafe chief online security officer Sean Lyons said he had seen an increasing amount of harm relating to online bullying.
"We hear reports of young people feeling socially excluded by bullying and it can have a significant impact on their mental health."
It was a worry for parents and he noted signs to look out for included a young person withdrawing from activities or friendship groups and becoming secretive about their technology use.
Social media platforms did have age restrictions, Lyons noted, but he likened these to age restrictions on movies.
"Young people aspire to do things made for people who are older than them, like watching a movie that has an R rating, and it's the same with social media. But the age limits are there for a reason."
Where to get help:
Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
What's Up: free counselling for 5 to 19 years old, online chat 11am-10.30pm 7days/week or free phone 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 11am-11pm Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm or text 832 Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.
Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
OUTLine: 0800 688 5463 (6pm-9pm)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
