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An increase in abuse toward players, coaches and refs, especially in children's sport, worries a top ref. He's heading a new campaign to address it.
A survey of New Zealand coaches and referees on sideline behaviour in children's team sports has revealed disturbing results.
Released by Aktive, the Regional Sports Trust for the wider Auckland region, the survey revealed more than 60 percent had witnessed inappropriate behaviour at least once or twice a season and most of this was verbal abuse directed at young children.
Referees and volunteers were also subjected to a barrage of verbal abuse.
Top New Zealand rugby referee Ben O'Keefe, who has fielded significant on- and off-field abuse, tells The Detail "it's sad because it's occurring in social games, it's occurring in community sports.
"When I was a kid, the goal was to turn up and have fun - to get the half-time oranges, to get the player of the day award if you could.
"But now there is so much verbal abuse - it's the pressure I see people on the sideline putting on to referees and putting on to players and these players are children and volunteers. It's concerning."
O'Keefe is now an ambassador for a new campaign called "Love Their Game", launched by Aktive to remind people to respect that the game belongs to those playing, refereeing, coaching and managing - and not those on the sideline.
It emphasises the importance of positive sideline support and creating quality sport experiences for all involved, particularly young people.
It is already supported by North Harbour Rugby Union, Counties Manukau Rugby Union, Netball Northern Zone, Northern Region Football, Auckland Basketball Services, Auckland Water Polo and Tennis Northern.
Collectively, this group reaches more than 100,000 participants.
"The goal is to make Auckland the most active city in New Zealand," says O'Keefe. "It's about creating a positive experience.
"Sport should be exciting and fun and played with your friends - when you take that element out of it, it becomes really, really difficult.
"Abuse affects the children a lot... I know kids who have quit sports, and that's really sad."
O'Keefe made worldwide headlines after revealing the significant abuse he's endured following high-profile matches.
After officiating the Super Rugby Pacific final between the Chiefs and Crusaders in June 2023, he faced severe backlash, including death threats from disgruntled fans. One told him he should get cancer.
"We are all human beings, we want to do really well at the job we have been given, whether that be refereeing rugby or another job," he says.
"You can build up what people say is a tough skin but no matter what, when you see your picture or name in headlines, you try to stop yourself, but you read the comments and it hurts, and it definitely hits you mentally. You have to build up great support around you to help.
"But certainly it is difficult... the doubt starts creeping into your mind, you start questioning yourself, you start questioning your ability and you lose sight of the fact that, in my case, I'm an experienced referee. I am good at what I do... and while I'm not perfect, I work really hard at my job and I'm very good at it.
"So, it is difficult... and it can really affect you during that time."
He doesn't want to see anyone on the field, whether it be a player, ref, coach or volunteer, go through his experience and hopes the campaign will change the negative sideline mindset.
"Love Their Game is about turning good feelings into good behaviours," he says.
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