One tackle ended Mose Masoe's rugby league career, leaving him paralysed from the shoulders down.
Mose Masoe playing for Hull KR. Photo: © SWpix.com (t/a Photography Hub Ltd)
The former NRL player suffered a horrific spinal injury for Hull in the English Super League in January 2020.
Masoe's doctors said he would never walk again, but four months later - after radical spinal surgery - he took his first steps.
"The battle has just begun and the challenges ahead I am ready for it, it's going to be tough," Masoe said.
Fifteen months later, the 31-year-old is a shadow of his former 1.9-metre and 120-kilogram build.
"It's not just a physical [game], it's a mental game," Masoe said.
"I call it psychological warfare with the things you can't do, but I've just got to run with the things I can do."
Masoe has no feeling in his hands and has lost control of his bladder and bowels.
"If you're doing your bowel care and your bladder care, [and] if you're getting it right, it's OK," he said.
"But if you're getting it wrong, it's a tough day at the office. It's forever changing but I have to be optimistic."
Mose Masoe and his family nearly a year after his accident. Photo: Supplied/Mose Masoe
The New Zealand-born Masoe is still living in England with his partner Carissa and four young children. They have been in a COVID-enforced lockdown for over a year.
His partner is now his full-time carer.
"She is such a trooper, I am really lucky to have a partner in Carissa," Masoe said.
"She is the nurse, the physio, the chauffeur and the teacher.
"During lockdown, she's had to do all the homeschooling and because nurses couldn't come because of COVID she's had to be my nurse. She's been awesome."
The birth of Masoe's fourth child was one of the biggest motivators in his recovery.
"My partner at the time was two months pregnant, that drove me to get better," he said.
"I really wanted to hold my son and I was able to do that."
Providing for his family drives the former Samoa international and it is why he has such a positive outlook on life.
Newcastle Knights rugby league player Alex McKinnon who was paralysed when playing in the NRL. Photo: Photosport
"I want to be a good example for my kids, so I try to get better," he said.
"There's other people out there doing it worse so I always try to think of them."
But since Masoe's injury, being a father has hugely changed. He misses the things he can longer do with his children.
"I do feel guilty because I was able to do other things with my girls, [such as] take them to the shops or push them on the swings," he said.
"Now I can't do that."
The English Super League insurance policy provided Masoe very little compensation. It was reportedly around $100,000.
Masoe said that was not nearly enough.
"The game … needs to look at it [compensation for seriously injured players], hopefully just to look out for the players," he said.
"The RLPA (Rugby League Players Association) has really pushed for change [in Australia], but over here in the Super League, being the first professional player that it's happened to, this is a big eye-opener for them."
Masoe, who played for the Sydney Roosters and Penrith in the NRL, knows he will continue to face hardship while having to work on his recovery for the rest of his life.
"We really don't know what's going to happen," he said.
Trent Robinson was an assistant coach at the Roosters in 2010 when Masoe made his NRL debut with the club.
Robinson acknowledges players such as Masoe and former Newcastle Knights player Alex McKinnon - who suffered a spinal cord injury during an NRL match in 2014 - need the game's support.
"We ask our players to go out and play a sport we love to watch because of the brutality they play with," he said.
"We've got two amazing men, Alex and Mose. It is humbling to listen to them talk about the sacrifice they've made to play this game they love."
NRL looks to support Masoe."
McKinnon was injured playing for the Knights against the Storm in Melbourne seven years ago.
He is now a quadriplegic.
Mose Masoe standing and walking for the first time after his injury. Photo: Supplied/Mose Masoe
"Living with a spinal cord injury is so different - you're forever learning, things are forever changing, you're forever fighting," McKinnon said.
"It changes your whole life you enter a new world of unknowns and uncontrollable."
McKinnon is helping the NRL and Super League run a fundraising campaign - named "We stand with Mose" - to provide support to Masoe.
"When you do have financial support, it gives you the opportunity to make decisions and [he will] find his own way … to help support his family," McKinnon said.
"You can change this man's life."
Virtual tickets will be sold for matches in Australia and the UK this weekend, with proceeds going to Masoe.
The Men of League Foundation - who cares for men, women and children of the rugby league community - has also launched a donor appeal.
"It's hard for Mose to put his hand up because he's always the guy that makes everyone else happy, but it's time for us to support one of our own," Robinson said.
"If he's going to keep improving and getting to the life he wants to get back to, we are here to say Mose needs our support."
Masoe is clearly touched by the gesture of support but is nervous ahead of the weekend's fundraising drive.
"Thanks to the NRL for doing this for me, I'm forever grateful for everyone's help," he said.
"I am looking forward to this weekend. It's an emotional time for me because I don't like putting my hand up for help."
-ABC
