11 Feb 2023

Rugby: Dane Coles' greatest hits

3:19 pm on 11 February 2023
Dane Coles

Dane Coles Photo: PhotoSport

The list of All Blacks that have either confirmed they're playing overseas for 2024 or haven't committed to NZ Rugby yet is so big it looks like a handy team. But for at least one, the end of this season will see the boots hung up for good.

Dane Coles announced he was retiring at the end of 2023 this week, capping an 11-year All Black career, 17 in total in professional rugby. The NZR press release was full of the usual platitudes for a player whose career should end up around the ninety-something test mark, but it didn't specifically mention how Coles effectively revolutionised the position of hooker.

It also didn't say how Coles is perhaps the last All Black link to old school grassroots rugby, having made his way from the Pōneke Football Club to the highest level, but never forgetting where his roots lay. So, it's fitting to recap his career highlights by starting at his home club.

Hurricanes hooker Dane Coles.

Photo: PHOTOSPORT

Beating Marist St Pats - There is no greater hatred in club rugby than the one that exists on either side of Evans Bay Parade in Wellington. Pōneke and MSP have waged an eternal war against one another, with Coles featuring prominently in a memorable win for the red and blacks in 2022 - despite an impending full All Black campaign for the 36-year-old.

Baiting Michael Hooper - The Wallabies' captain is a well-spoken, educated man. But that counted for nothing in 2016 when Coles decided to gleefully remind Hooper of the score after Julian Savea had run away to lock the Bledisloe Cup up for yet another year.

Scoring worldies against the Wallabies - Coles seems to have a thing about the Wallabies, showing his pace against them at Eden Park and his sidestep at Suncorp Stadium to score his two most spectacular test tries.

Aggravating Pablo Matera - Getting under the skin of guy so much that he doesn't want to shake your hand after the game takes a truly masterful level of gamesmanship.

Distribution - Coles is known for his pace out wide, but he was pretty handy in the midfield too. In 2016 against the Springboks in Christchurch, a 20-metre cut out pass gave Samuel Whitelock possibly the easiest try he'll ever score in tests.

"We're just having a bit of fun mate" - The best summation of the way Coles plays the game came after he was ordered to the bin by a humourless Ben O'Keeffe after working over Highlanders first five Mitch Hunt last year. Coles' Highlanders opposite Ash Dixon, himself a staunch adherent of old school values, looked visibly dismayed at the call.

Getting the silverware - Playing for the Hurricanes and Wellington means you don't often end the season holding a trophy, but Coles managed to get his hands on the Ranfurly Shield in only his second representative season in 2008. The Canes' Super Rugby victory in 2016, with Coles holding the trophy on the most freezing of Wellington nights, was enough to warm the most jaded of hearts.

Bullying Beauden Barrett - One of the biggest reasons the Canes won that title was Beauden Barrett, so naturally Coles took very much the same view as most Wellingtonians when the two-time World Player of the Year moved to the Blues. Trucking Barrett on the way to a try and then pulling him into the subsequent celebration would have to be one of the most memorable Super Rugby moments ever, perhaps enough to influence Jordie Barrett to shelve any plans of following his big brother north.

Saving the All Blacks' perfect season - Only one men's test team has ever won every single match in a professional season, but had it not been for a perfectly timed pass by Coles to Ryan Crotty, the 2013 All Blacks would have blown it in their last test of the year in Dublin. Crotty's try and Aaron Cruden's conversion sealed history, but it could have been a shock loss had a less skillful player had the ball in Coles' position.

A dream debut for Wellington - Just to put in perspective just how long he's been playing: Coles' provincial debut came two months before the All Blacks were dumped out of a Rugby World Cup because Wayne Barnes missed a forward pass. In an NPC match against Auckland in 2007, a fresh-faced 20-year-old hooker came off the bench and ran in two tries from long range and win the game. The rest, as they say, is history.