Glen Osborne slides in the tackle of Italy's Christian Stocia to score in the final pool match of the Rugby World Cup at McAlpine Stadium, Huddersfield. Photo: Ross Setford
If there is one fixture in All Black history that is more predictable than any other, it's when they play Italy. It's either been a total hiding or an absolutely terrible game to watch, and sometimes both. They meet again for the sixth, or technically seventh, time in Rugby World Cups tomorrow morning, which makes the Italians the second-most played opponent the All Blacks have had in the tournament's history after France.
Given the All Blacks' up and down form of late and the promise that Kieran Crowley's side shown in the past two seasons, there are feelings that Italy's accursed run of results might change. So it's worth having a look back at the history of the two sides, because if it is a good, tight encounter, we can appreciate it just that much more:
1979 - Il primo gioco
This wasn't classified as a test by the NZRFU, but is by the Federazione Italiana Rugby, which makes it yet another confusing historical entry into rugby's wild west-like record books. It also stands as the closest game ever played between the two sides, ending 18-12 to the All Blacks in front of a boisterous crowd at Stadio Battaglini in Rovigo. Italy can boast that they scored the first points in their matches against the All Blacks, through a penalty goal to local boy Stefano Bettarello.
1987 - There's a dog on the pitch
The first ever World Cup was opened with the first official test, with Italy being one of a bunch of countries hurriedly given admittance to the IRB in order for it to be a legitimate tournament. The 70-6 win was the first time the All Blacks had ever scored 50 points in a test match and is famous for Sir John Kirwan's famous try, but also featured a dog invading the pitch. Amazingly, this was such a common occurrence back in the day that it happened in the All Blacks' next match at Athletic Park, against Argentina.
1991 - The close one
The Italians came back strong four years later and pushed the All Blacks to a 31-21 result in Leicester, in the World Cup's second edition. The Italian side was anchored by the Cuttitta brothers, with Massimo at prop and Marcello dotting down for a try on the wing. The late Inga Tuigamala scored the best-known of his tries for the All Blacks, bumping defenders off on a 60 metre run in to the corner.
1995 - Il Colosso Lomu
A lot of people forget that the All Blacks' 1995 season didn't end after their epic World Cup campaign. They travelled to Europe for a tour and met Italy at Stadio Renato Dall'ara in Bologna, where the unfortunate home side met Jonah Lomu. Rugby's global superstar was like Hannibal at Cannae, scoring two tries and having a hand in a bunch of others in the 70-6 win.
1999 - Raise the bat
The All Blacks hit a ton against Italy the next time they met, a 101-3 flogging at Huddersfield. Lomu again tormented them with two tries, Jeff Wilson got a hat trick and Glen Osborne scored one when he was so far in touch he may as well have been lining up for a hot dog.
2009 - The Toilet Tests
If you've still got PTSD from watching the All Blacks play Italy in 2009, stop reading now. The 27-6 win to the All Blacks in Christchurch was when then assistant-coach Steve Hansen coined the now iconic "flush the dunny and move on" line, which summed the entire experience up perfectly. But new lows were found a few months later in Milan, when possibly the worst test match of all time finished with 15 minutes of scrum resets. Tellingly, the All Blacks have never been invited back to the iconic San Siro stadium in Italy's second largest city.
2018 - Backlash in Rome
After dishing out a couple more hidings over the next decade, the All Blacks found themselves back in Rome on the end of the 2018 tour. They'd just been humbled by Ireland in Dublin the week before, so tension was extremely high and the poor Italians copped the brunt of it. Jordie Barrett and Damian McKenzie scored seven tries between them in the 66-3 win.
2021 - Another pile of trash
Normally, a 47-9 win would be seen as a positive result, but the score line in Rome a couple of years ago does a very effective job of masking what an absolute disgrace of a spectacle this game was. While it wasn't helped by the often bafflingly strict refereeing of Karl Dickson, the game really suffered from the fact that the All Blacks somehow forgot how to catch, pass, kick or work their set piece. They did remember how to tackle at least, not that they had to do much because the Italians seemed intent to kick away every bit of possession they got.
2023 - Who knows?
If the All Blacks play as poorly and the Italians play as well as they have both shown at times over the past few years, this may well be a far more interesting game than most of the ones mentioned above.
