Alex Rufer (C) of the Phoenix Photo: Masanori Udagawa
Auckland FC v Wellington Phoenix
Kick-off: 5pm Saturday 22 Feb
Go Media Mt Smart Stadium, Auckland
Live blog updates on RNZ Sport
The Wellington Phoenix's longest serving player, captain Alex Rufer, was scared as he spent weeks uncertain about his football future due to an illness he was struggling to recover from.
Rufer played the first nine games of the A-League season before being forced to miss the next six following a bout of glandular fever.
The medical team initially ruled him out indefinitely.
"Personally the toughest thing about it was the fact that I didn't have an end date there was no plan at the time and that was quite difficult to deal with but now we're through the other side I'm feeling good.
"I wasn't thinking about football for a while to be honest the first thing on my mind was just about getting healthy again.
"I was told that it could be anywhere between six weeks and six months and when you get told that it's pretty scary so the most important thing for me was making sure I got back healthy and thankfully and luckily I'm healthy again."
Illness is different to injury.
Rufer said dealing with glandular fever was mentally tougher than injuries. For a month he was "not feeling good".
"I've had two bad injuries and they are tough because you're out for a long time but at least you have something to work towards you have a gauge of where you should come back or how you should come back whereas this was a little bit different there was no expected date of return or day when you should feel good again."
Rufer played for the first time after his break on 14 February against Melbourne Victory in a 1-0 loss. He played 25 minutes in the defeat.
In the third and final local derby against Auckland FC this season on Saturday at Mt Smart Stadium Rufer said he could play up to 60 minutes but admits that "might be pushing it".
"You want to play in derbies you want to play in big games and you want to play against the best teams and Auckland are the best team. I want to play as much as possible and help the team as much as possible."
The Phoenix sit in 10th in the A-League standings compared to Auckland FC in first place. At the same time last season - with 10 regular season games to play - the Phoenix were five points clear at the top of the ladder and looking likely to win their first domestic silverware.
The midfielder said this weekend could be crucial for their season as they look to make their way back towards the top six and finals football.
"It's a perfect setting for us to try and go up there and turn our season around with a win against not only our rival but the best team so this week is all about making sure we train well, we do what we can and make sure we go up there with the right mindset."
Another player who came back for the Phoenix last round was Tim Payne who was out for a couple weeks with injury.
Payne agreed with Rufer that it was hard to be watching as the team were not winning.
"It's an interesting dynamic in the fact that what you are paid to do, and what you love doing, you are not able to do and then to put on top of that that the team are struggling it makes it even harder because you want to be out there you want to be in the trenches with the boys and fighting and trying to put your best foot forward to try an help the team so it hurts a lot," Payne said.
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