12 Jan 2016

Push stop. Not repeat.

10:38 am on 12 January 2016

A poem by Yvonne Bay. 

 

 

Listen to the story as it was told at The Watercooler or read on. 

Ko hoku hingoa ko Yvonne
Born December 31st 1998
Growing up
Living a happy life
My dad, a Kiwi
My mum, his Tongan wife.

My big brother was cool
But I was very shy
Being bullied at school
Being made to cry
Tried to stay strong
Didn't feel like I belong

But my dad was always there
The one who would always care
He was always so kind
When others were so mean

Losing my father at age 13
My world tumbles down
Shatters into pieces all around
I didn't know how to cope
So I turned to drinking and dope

Got boyfriends
Left school
Felt so much pain
Playing it cool.

My Aunty got angry
Tried to change my ways
She put me in hospital for three days.

Felt betrayed by my own mother
She chose her new husband
Over me and my brother.

But I didn't even bother
Not knowing who to trust
Still trying to grow up.

I was lost
Could not even count on myself
I needed someone to help.

Here comes my friend
Showing that I care
These feelings inside of me I cannot bare.

I don't know how I survived
After turning the other cheek
I was no longer whole.

Forsaken myself endlessly
Weak
But still, I have hope.

I stood in old footsteps after falling down
At times end, I found nothing could put me back where I belong again.

Forgetting all the problems
Forgiving
And believing in myself that I am worth living.

This generation is careless
We have to be fearless
Lets break this cycle of deceit
Push stop. Not repeat.

Start this world anew
It doesn't start with them
It starts with you.

Have hope in yourself and those around you and you will see
How great this world could be
For you and For me.

Its not hard so don't make it be
Its only the fear of the possibility
Of losing everything
Don't fear. Have hope.

Look at me.
Here I am today
Sharing my story with you
I am back to who I was before
But with even more too.

I am stronger
I am independent
I am beautiful
I have learnt to love myself

Within me I have hope
My heart is lighter
Days will be brighter
Laughter and tears will come again.

Hold On
Pain Ends.

This story was originally told at The Watercooler, a monthly storytelling night held at The Basement Theatre. If you have a story to tell, email  thewatercoolernz@gmail.com or hit them up on Twitter or Facebook.

Illustration: Mathew Worthington 

This content is brought to you with funding support from NZ On Air.