Ashley Hughes on the tragic story behind his new album Cold Night Dark Mourning.
Ashley Hughes. Photo: Supplied
Verse Chorus Verse sees local artists break down the stories behind their music. For the latest in the series, Ashley Hughes details the tragedy that inspired the songs on his new seven-song album Cold Night Dark Mourning.
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For four years I felt lost. I thought I was dealing with it ok, but now that I look back on it all, I really wasn't.
That has been my mindset through the process of this project.
I remember the phone call very clearly; I remember how my fist felt hitting that wall; I remember the car trip down to meet with my parents and I remember every little smell from around that time. But what I don't remember is most of the smaller events in life since then. A lot has been a blur to me.
There is not much “realer” then letting your guard down for a bit and expressing your true emotions.
To me this album is really just myself dealing with the loss of my younger brother, maybe not so much in the lyrics, but in the feel. I have always struggled with why – as rappers – we had to rap so "literal" and not just let the feelings manifest however they come on a song. We take so much pride in keeping it “real”, and to me there is not much “realer” then letting your guard down for a bit and expressing your true emotions.
One of the strengths of this project is how great the tracklist runs, in regards to how it mirrors the up and down journey I have been on these last few years.
‘High Hopes’ (a song featuring Janine and the Mixtape) really sets the tone. What better voice could pull that kind of feeling from somebody? For me? Nobody. We created this song right around my initial mourning stage. She knew what was going on with me and it was only right we led the album off with it as that was the beginning of what I now see was my therapy.
Writing Cold Night Dark Mourning was emotional, but it was also very therapeutic and something that I needed to do for myself.
As you progress through each song you hear my frustration. The topics may vary, but the common denominator – that feeling – remains. The fact I recorded Cold Night Dark Mourning with one of my closest friends allowed me to open up and really give you the “Ashley Hughes” experience. I take my hat off to Sid Diamond who lends a personal moment of vulnerability speaking about his mother on ‘Smile’; also to Yorel for putting together a canvas for me to express [myself]. Every feature brought a special moment and for that I am grateful, as I am genuinely a fan of them all.
‘This Life’, which features Edgar and Tim Walker, is a pivotal point in the album because I am in a far better place now – and it shows. Added to that, the almost reborn sounding AK47 remix by Anka allows the project to come full-circle, ending on an upbeat note.
I miss my brother, but I have become a father now and the past four years seem so far from my current reality. Writing Cold Night Dark Mourning was emotional, but it was also very therapeutic and something I needed to do for myself. I hope you connect with something from it. One thing I would advise is to listen to it as a whole – just like my closest friends and I choose to do.
