Assuage your existential dread.
Photo: Screenshot: Twitter/Sam Neill
As many of you will know, thespian and winemaker Sam Neill is one of the greatest New Zealanders ever, living or dead. What you may not know is that he is currently at the helm of one of the greatest twitter accounts in our country’s history.
While Sam travels often to film such blockbusters as Thor: Ragnarok and The Guinea Pig Club (which, before you get your hopes up, is about WWII, not actual Guinea Pigs), he has of late been spending a great deal of time on the farm, documenting his many shenanigans for all to enjoy.
In these dark times, social media is not often a place one goes to for relief or that elusive feeling known as ‘pleasure’ - but contained within the account that is @TwoPaddocks are many millions of moments that will gently assuage your existential dread and incrementally restore your faith in humanity.
Why? Let us explain.
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Sam Neill is woke.
For the record NZ- I did not like the way @MetiriaTurei was treated, I am sorry to see her go, and I thank her for her service to Aotearoa.
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 18, 2017
Whether it be local politics
I worked with @Schwarzenegger not long ago- nicest man you could hope to meet. I like him even more today. https://t.co/PDT23WRCdk
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 18, 2017
Or International
There is no such thing as a 'decent' white supremacist. There are no 'good' Nazis. They are the scum of the earth. Clear? @realDonaldTrump
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 17, 2017
He’s not afraid to stand up for what’s right.
Sam Neill spends seemingly every waking moment hanging out with his many, many farm animals all of whom are named after celebrities.
Dog and I had a good long think about whether we should carry on pruning the Riesling . Decided ...nup. It's Sunday. pic.twitter.com/7s65HOOesL
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 20, 2017
Every
Some Run With Wolves.
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 19, 2017
I run with chickens. pic.twitter.com/DZgJEyTZfC
Waking
Not only are my sheep diligent grass & weed controllers in the vineyard, they WORK FOR FREE. Ought to be a law etc etc #organics #cunning pic.twitter.com/dL6DeUdlDe
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 21, 2017
Moment.
Sam Neill’s animals are woke
NEVER look directly at a chicken's face. Never..
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 22, 2017
Wait- you just did. What did I say ? Mmm?
OK, go register to vote, and all will be well. pic.twitter.com/mKcZLSVaRZ
And they have important messages for you.
An important message from Charlie.
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 23, 2017
You MUST register. And vote. It's easy.
Don't let 'em get away with it .
Charlie knows stuff. So please pic.twitter.com/pXu53oedeA
Very important messages.
This chicken of mine may look a bit thick. But I'll give her this-she's smart enough NOT to start a NUCLEAR WAR with #NorthKorea ! pic.twitter.com/wGjqz6xLyv
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 10, 2017
Listen to the chicken!
Sam Neill understands that after all that activism relaxation is important
I massage Helena Bonham Carter. That's Graham Norton in the background. He likes to watch. @grahnort pic.twitter.com/XVnPmkLxkR
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 20, 2017
Mmmm.
Massaging my duck. pic.twitter.com/EAvZfLNGHr
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 3, 2017
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Massage and a glass of wine. pic.twitter.com/u7TtQyFk7Z
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 18, 2017
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sam Neill knows the true value of friendship
This is the stuff of horror.
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 21, 2017
Giving your pig a snack after dark .
You have been warned.
It's not pretty. Not at all. @thehorrormaster pic.twitter.com/LvAW9yyD7n
Friendship, as Sam Neill knows, is about accepting each other's flaws.
I've been teaching my pig basic English for quite a while. He's doing pretty well , all things considered. pic.twitter.com/t14m6z323M
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 20, 2017
It's about communication.
Pig not happy pic.twitter.com/s6DWlzXSVm
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 23, 2017
And most of all, it’s about knowing you won’t always get along.
Most important of all, Sam Neill knows his priorities
I'm sorry, but I'm too busy answering all mu pig's fan mail . We're swamped here. https://t.co/meTPwXr4Q0
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) August 23, 2017
A true national treasure.
