As poet Dominic "Tourettes" Hoey tours NZ with his pal Skyscraper Stan, he'll be immortalising each locale in a poem.
From left, Josh Jugum, Skyscraper Stan and Dominic Hoey Photo: Supplied
After the gig in Wanaka
back at our host's house
their children still up
playing songs
talking about karate
and the solar system
smarter and more charming
than most adults I know.
And I start thinking
perhaps I should start a family
have a kid
get a house in the country
fill it with laughter and dogs
But deep down I know it won't be like this
my kid will inherit at least one of my learning disabilities
and all of my phobias
it’ll keep starting fires
small ones at first
but it won’t be long until the local school goes up in flames
and I find a half-empty can of gasoline under its bed
I’ll hide it and when the cops come round
tell them
“it was at home all night helping me get the rats out of the roof”
and suddenly I’m a bloody accessory to arson
not that the kid will care
it will be too busy
kicking the dog
and watching beheading videos on the internet
and we’ll have to send it to some special kind of therapist
they’ll take us aside
and shake their heads
tell us
“ya kid's fucked mate”
we’ll have to sell it's ritilan
to pay for the special therapy
Anyway I’ve got my hands full
keeping Josh fed up on pies
and making sure Stan doesn’t walk into traffic
> Check the tour dates for Dominic Hoey and Skyscraper Stan here.
