10 Sep 2024

What do Mormons think of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

2:49 pm on 10 September 2024
THE SECRET LIVES OF MORMON WIVES - Season 1 - The scandalous world of a group of Mormon mom influencers implodes when they get caught in the midst of a swinging sex scandal that makes international headlines. Now, their sisterhood is shook to its core. Faith, friendship and reputations are all on the line. Will #MomTok be able to survive and continue to give the rulebook a run for its money, or will this group fall from grace? (Disney/Fred Hayes)
JENNIFER AFFLECK, JESSI NGATIKAURA, MIKAYLA MATTHEWS, MAYCI NEELEY, DEMI ENGEMANN, LAYLA TAYLOR, TAYLOR FRANKIE PAUL, WHITNEY LEAVITT

The cast of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Photo: Disney+ / Fred Hayes

The controversial new TV show Secret lives of Mormon Wives is raising eyebrows around the world, but not so much in the church's New Zealand branch.

The new Disney+ reality TV series depicts a social media-savvy group of friends in Utah, where the Mormon church is headquartered, who are dealing with the fallout from a "soft-swinging scandal."

There are lots of highly-manicured women, often in tight or barely there clothing, talking or dancing provocatively and drinking alcohol. It all seems very un-Mormon. Much of what is depicted in the show goes against teachings in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the church's preferred name, where alcohol is typically prohibited and monogamous marriage is eternal.

It makes you wonder what everyday church members in New Zealand and in the US, where the church was founded, think of the show.

What is the show about?

The eight-episode series follows a group of eight rule-breaking women who collectively have millions of followers on TikTok. It all hits the fan when queen #MomTok influencer Taylor Frankie Paul revealed she was getting a divorce after she and husband Tate Paul participated in some soft swinging (basically all levels of intimacy, except for sex, with other people).

Taylor Frankie Paul is the star of the scandal, and the show.

Taylor Frankie Paul. Photo: Instagram / Taylor Frankie Paul

The show looks at the two years following that initial scandal as the women bicker and argue, but also have meaningful discussions about friendship and the role women should play in Mormon families.

'Mormon bait'

The show has spawned dozens of hot takes, reviews and, not surprisingly, TikTok posts. Some claim the show captures the wide spectrum of Mormon women in Utah. Others have called it "Mormon bait," meaning the show was fishing for views by doubling down on the stereotype outsiders have of church members. (Historically, husbands in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could have multiple wives, but that was outlawed in 1890.)

There have been countless other shows that hit the "Mormon bait" category such as the creepy but enthralling documentary series Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey and the mini-series Under the Banner of Heaven.

'We are just as normal'

Brigham Riwai-Couch, 23, who lives in Wellington and is training to be a teacher, said church members here are a bit more reserved.

"That's just New Zealand culture, I guess," he said.

Brigham Riwai-Couch on his wedding day.

Brigham Riwai-Couch on his wedding day. Photo: supplied

About 55,000 people in New Zealand's 2018 census said they attended the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The church says the real figure is more than double.

Like the two other church members RNZ spoke with, Riwai-Couch didn't watch the show and probably won't. He watched the trailer. He saw a few clips online. That was enough.

"It kind of strengthens that stereotype about members of the church that's been formed over the years" he said, referring to when polygamy was accepted in the church.

Jana McQueen, a 31-year-old HR professional in Auckland, lived in Utah twice for a total of about three years. She disputed other observations that the show mirrored church culture in Utah.

She said it was interesting going from New Zealand, where she was a minority in terms of her faith, to Utah "where you are more a minority if you were not in the church".

McQueen attends church every Sunday no matter where she is in the world, which has included the US, Asia and all around New Zealand.

"They've got a character that is kind and helpful and they help... I've experienced a supportive value-based community everywhere I've gone," she said.

Jana McQueen.

Jana McQueen in front of the Laie Hawaii Temple. Photo: supplied

Take a dive down the rabbit hole of Mormon TikTok videos that mention New Zealand and you will find lots of "missionary call letter" openings. They're like a gender reveal party, but swap expectant parents for young church members about to find out the location of their mission trip, a rite of passage for devout Mormons.

Other videos show off the raging youth dances the church puts on for young people that are - presumably - drug and alcohol-free.

"There's some island songs that are played but mostly just clean tracks. There's still Chris Brown in there, and other cool songs, but all the clean versions," said Riwai-Couch.

His mother, Dr Melanie Riwai-Couch, now works for the church after two decades in education. She said her daughters will often post a photo on social media of themselves after church, where members typically go for a 'Sunday best' outfit: women in often in dresses and men in a shirt and tie. But it's worlds away from opulence shown in Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

"I don't think we have secret lives anymore than anyone else has secret lives," said Riwai-Couch.

"We are just as normal, as dysfunctional, as functional as represented in other people."

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