Mea Motu on how her kids saved her life

 

Mea Motu is a world champion boxer, but before she even got into the ring as a professional, she had to fight for her own life.

Mea Motu escaped an abusive relationship, which went on for years leaving her homeless at times and fearing for her life. 

She's boxed with a broken rib, a dislocated shoulder and asthma, all the while raising five children and speaking out about domestic violence and mental health. 

Mea only started her professional boxing career in 2020. Now she's a world champion. She tells Guyon Espiner how she’s done it. 

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“Just hard work and hard dedication. A lot of sacrifice. But also, I've had a lot of support with family. 

“The biggest support is my gym, and my coach and his wife [Isaac and Alina Peach] who have backed me, supported me, believed in me, and invested in me.” 

Winning the World Title in 2023 with a broken rib - and not telling her coach beforehand. 

“No!  I was scared that he might pull me out of the title and reschedule me. And this was my one-shot opportunity, and I didn't want to lose that. 

“It was a big challenge. It was very mental. It was really trying to hold myself together, finding certain positions to work around and not get hit there. I did get hit there. 

“But also, just embracing the punch and trying to attack with it. So, it was very hard and difficult. I didn't find it easy, but I luckily had the guidance of my cornermen.” 

Defending the World Title with a dislocated shoulder

“The belief of [my] cornerman and my coach [enabled me to win.] He just knows what to say. He knows how to intuit me and make me believe I know who I am and what I'm fighting for.  

“And he knows how to really just grab my attention and be like, ‘are you OK?’  

“He checks that I'm OK no matter what. Every time I come back. ‘Are you OK?’ And I'm like, ‘yes.’ ‘Anything hurting?’ And I'm like, ‘yes.’  

“And then he'll find a strategy of how we can get through it. He knows us inside and out. That's his job as a coach.  

“It's really mental. The physical is the easiest.  

“It's the mental, like, really listening and really being in tune with your coach and knowing and believing what he's about to say.  

“You go in there with that same courage and strength: ‘you ain't gonna take me down because I've got these people in the corner who know who I am, who believe in me, who love me for me, and I'm going to execute it no matter what.’” 

Asthma and drug-testing 

“It's hard because it’s not just normal asthma, it's chronic asthma. It's finding methods of how to get through it.  

“If I'm having an asthma attack, I know how to get through it. I know how to control it and it's never failed me. 

“I'm very selective in what medication I can take and what inhaler I'm allowed. So, that's why it's up to me to manage it and be really careful.  

“So, if I am having trouble, I've taught myself breathing methods and how to cope with it. It's been a challenge.  

“But I'm that determined that I know I can fight for it, and I know my body is capable of doing anything.” 

More world titles and beating UK boxer Ellie Scotney 

“100%. You will see a fight and we're definitely going to be fighting, 'cause I'm number one and she can't dodge me, so it's going to have to be mandatory.  

“And fingers crossed, it will happen this year. And I'm 100% knowing that it's going to happen, cause I'm going to keep fighting till I get it. And I'll be the first New Zealander to unify multiple titles. 

“I believe in myself; I know who I am. I really know who I am. Does she know who she is? 

“Because when I get in that ring, I switch, I channel. I ain't losing focus. I'm determined. 

“I've got, not just me in that corner, not just me in that ring.  

“I'm fighting for my people. I'm fighting for my gym. I'm fighting for my ancestors, my land, and where I'm proud to be, where I come from. I've got everything and that's what I'm fighting for.” 

More offshore fights 

“Yeah, you're definitely not going to really see me here. I'll be overseas because that's where all the fights are.  

“I love going to people's dungeons. I love it. 

“You know, going into the lion’s den, that's how it feels. It only gives me more hunger and determination to fight it, like, bring it. I'm not scared.” 

Amateur boxing

“I started really early, when I was 13. Boxing for fun. People were saying that I was good, so I was doing it for [them.]  

“Then as the years went on, I was very in and out, and my sister did it and I joined in with her, and my mum just supported us on the road. 

“It was really cool because I got to box alongside my baby sister, who's 10 years apart. Sally Motu, who won a New Zealand title.  

“And I was like, oh wow. I'm so proud of my sister."  

Entering professional boxing with coach Isaac Peach in 2020 

“I never wanted to come back to the sport. I never wanted to be a professional boxer because I was bloody scared. I didn't believe I was a power puncher. I was an amateur.  

“I was a person that would punch and run away. I was like, ‘don't hit me,’ punch, run, you know.  

“I hated sitting there and punching, and I couldn't even power punch. Didn't know how to. I was just a tipper-tapper.  

“I just put a post up on Facebook saying, ‘anyone want to do training?’ Because I just lacked confidence.  

“And [Isaac] saw my post, because we were friends on Facebook. He's like, ‘come down to the gym,’ and I was kind of like, ‘oh, should I give it a go? I always tell him I'm going to come.’ 

“So, for the first time I was like, ‘OK, I'm going to go down.’  

“And I went down with my two babies, and walked into his house, and his wife was there, Alina. And she was like, ‘Isaac! There's a girl here for you.’  

“And he's like, ‘oh, it's Mea! This is the best news ever. I can't believe you're here.’ And he's like, ‘are you ready to fight?’  

“And I was like, ‘no. I'm just really here to train and I don't want to fight.’ 

“And then he was like, ‘nah, you're going to be the next world champion. You were born to fight.’ And I was like, ‘no, you haven't even seen me.’ Like I was thinking he was crazy.” 

The difference between amateur boxing and pro boxing 

“I hate amateur. It's very, like, point scoring, and I don't like it. I don't like the way they judge it. I don't like the way they score it, and just the politics and that.  

“It's just really nasty. I don't like the people in it. It put me off boxing completely as well. And it's very light, pat, dancing around. 

“Being pro is a lot slower, a lot more aggressive, and you learn more about the art of boxing.  

“That's just my personal preference of how I view boxing.  

“[With pro boxing] I found a love for it because when I walked in that ring, it was like the way I lived life.  

“You’ve got to learn to be calm. Relax. You can't stress out and you can't [show] emotions because you'll get found if you have your emotions.  

“And that's like me outside the ring. I get emotional. I get stressed out. And then you get calm and relax and you've got to learn to manage that. In 10 rounds."

Her first relationship

“I’d never had a relationship. I’d never had a boyfriend. I had no idea what it was like to have a boyfriend. So, when I met my boyfriend at the time, I thought I was cool.  

“I wanted to be the same as every teenager. I was just really being a copycat. Like, yeah, this is a cool thing. Every girl's doing it, every boy's doing it.  

“So, I followed suit, and I thought it was amazing. And it was cool. And I wanted to grow up fast. 

“I wasn't in a good place at home. I really hated home. I didn't like Auckland.  

“My comfort was home up north, and I was ripped away from that really quick, and I was there in the unknown and I couldn't understand.  

“So, I was a very angry kid and I was always looking for love. And when I lost my grandparents, you know, losing them was hard. It hit me hard. And my parents were just hard workers.  

“So, I just wanted someone's attention and I got that through my boyfriend. You know, my dad walked out early, and my mum was a solo mum. And so, I had no father in my life." 

The relationship was characterised by extreme mental, then physical abuse 

“I didn't realise at the time, but I was just hungry for someone to love me and hold me and my boyfriend gave that.  

“And so, when he did abuse me, I didn't know and I didn't understand, so I was very confused. Like, ‘what the heck? He's hit me.’ And I was left so confused. 

“I didn't know how to voice it because I realized when I was a teenager, my parents always just threw me in my room. So, they taught me how to be silent without them knowing.  

“And so that's how I learned how to be silent. Like, you know, you don't talk. Men don't cry. So, girls don't cry. You know, that's what I had stuck in my head. So be strong. You gotta be tough. If you show weakness, you're weak. 

“This went on for 10 years. You know, so long. I was getting abused constantly.  

“And my mental health was bad. Like, I wanted to give up on life, tried to commit suicide, so many things, but it was my family that held me together, and my children." 

Trying to escape 

“I was living in a car, yeah. I didn't tell my family ‘cause I was ashamed.  

“I was an embarrassment and I felt like I was a failure, like I was never good enough. And so, I was too ashamed to tell them."  

“I wanted them to think that I was doing good. That I was doing okay. But really, deep down, I was drowning and I was dying and killing myself. And I lived in hiding."

“My daughter saved my life. Seven years old, or eight. Saved my life."  

“She put her life in front of a knife."  

“And the knife should have stabbed me and should have killed me." 

“The strength and courage of my two oldest; they're like my guardian angels. To save my life. They fight for me, so why can't I fight for them?" 

“That's what gives me the strength and courage. Because my kids were so innocent, and so vulnerable, but they weren’t in fear because they would rather save my life." 

“They weren’t scared to take that risk and commit. They commit their whole life to me."  

The scale of New Zealand’s domestic violence problem 

“It's a massive issue in New Zealand. 

“I truly believe it's majority. Like it's so massive, it's so big and it's because we're stuck in that.  

“Society has allowed us to see that, you know, a man who cries is weak. You know, but it ain't.  

“A man who cries has true strength and courage. A man who's afraid to show tears is a coward living in fear.  

“He's the one running. That's what I've learned.  

“But it happens and it's everywhere.  

“And the thing is, the abuser steals our identity, so we can't escape.  

“They take our passport, they take everything, our driver's license, they tarnish our name so we’re held captive to them. There's nowhere to run.  

“And they make sure that we've got nowhere to go. 

“You know, we don't even know how to run a bank account. I only just learned last year how to open a bank account. I'm 34 years old, and I just learned this last year. And it’s happening to so many of us out there." 

“I struggled. The system failed me, because I would go to the police, and it would go through court, but I would lose, because it would be just me against how many gang members? 10 gang members? 

“And no one knows that they're gang members because they hide themselves.  

“They pretend like they're great people, and really, they're just there to back their brothers, not to save us.  

“And so, I'm left there just looking like the liar, the criminal, telling the court lies and lies.  

“And that's what happens to us females. And that's why we're too scared to leave. That's the control and captivation they hold on us. 

“Those that are in that situation, that are afraid to speak? Go and tell people. Like, literally you have to voice it. 

“I'm sick of it. I've seen too many females - and I've seen too many males - and too many kids, living under gang members.  

“Living under the control of narcissistic people. They just want to hold our kids for money, to fill up their pockets, and control them, and never allow them to leave home.  

“I'm sick of it and I want [domestic abuse victims] to voice it.  

“Don't be afraid because the more you talk about them, the more they run away. That's the best thing about them.  

“They always shut us up by beating us up and they think the more they beat us up, the more we stay silent and that's what they tried to do to me.  

“And I was like, no, I'm not going to. I've had enough.  

“Now I'm going to use my voice and show that if you've got an abuser out there, speak about them, tell people, tell your family, don't be ashamed.  

“Allow two out of ten people to let us down. But those other eight will support us and help us.” 

Mental Health Advocacy  

“I am an ambassador for I Am Hope. It's everything I stand for. That's who I am. You know, I am “hope.”  

“The only thing that carried me was that extra little hope I had. ‘Maybe, I hope one day, I will get out of this.’ And just holding that word, how powerful it is, it got me out.” 

"Trash Talk” in the world of competitive sports 

“No, I'm not into that. I'm not into trash talk. Yes, boxing is all about trash talk. And that's up to the individuals, that’s up to them, that’s the sport. 

“But I don't do it because it's what I stand for, who I am. I'm a role model. I lead by example. 

“If I go and trash talk, I'm normalising abuse, you know, trash talking and abusing someone. That's normalizing and showing our children that that's OK to speak to people like that. 

“I leave my fighting for the ring and I lead by example. Because I'm sick of our children seeing this.  

“I'm sick of seeing our children looking at sports athletes, you know, big role models and they're going off trash talking, belittling people.”  

A special connection with children

“Zen Peach. He's my little coach. It ain't a show. It's real. It's literally real.  

“He works alongside me every day, sacrifices an hour or even 2 hours of his time with me, and he just puts everything into me as much as he can.  

“And he really believes in me and backs me. 

“I love kids. They're our next generation. And I'm just tired of seeing our kids suffer.  

“Kids are just as great because they give real authentic advice, and they don't [beat] around the bush, they cut it straight down.  

“Sometimes it hurts, but it's better to know the truth. 

“That's one thing I can't stand, is people always want to tread around you lightly when you just want the honest truth. 

“I love it because I respect it, ‘cause I know they love me when they're telling me the truth.” 

Raising five kids

“My day is crazy, man.  

“It starts at 4:30, 5 o'clock, because you gotta get washing done and do their lunch boxes, get all their clothes ready. Have it all out.  

“And I have different ages. I have teenagers, I have primary school, and I have preschool.  

“So it's definitely a challenge because I've got to meet each age group where they're at. Not treat my middle child like a teenager, to treat him like a primary school kid.  

“And my teenagers, don't treat them like adults. Treat them like teenagers. Let them be kids. Let them enjoy being teenagers. They can never go back. They can only go forward. 

“I grew up too fast, you know, and I don't want that for my children because I missed all my childhood. I missed out being a teenager.”  

Bringing her children up with Te Reo 

“Yes, they speak fluent Te Reo Māori.  

“I didn’t have Te Reo. It was missing, you know, and it was really sad because I'd go to my own marae and I couldn’t speak it. 

“A lot of people in our family didn't really want Māori spoken because they just felt that it was never going to get them anywhere, which is understandable because they just want the kids to have education.  

“But I was determined to fight that, and I was proud to be Māori, but I couldn't speak it, and so I wanted that for my children.  

“I wanted to make sure that they had a choice knowing who they are, because it's really important to know your identity. 

“And knowing your language and connecting with your language, and where you come from makes you as a person so much more powerful.” 

What it’s like being in the professional ring and up against world-class opponents 

“Boxing is what I love and enjoy. It's my passion. It's my happy place. It's what I love.  

“It's very interesting. I’m the type of person, like, if you hit me good, I'm like, ‘yeah, you got me good. I'm coming back for you. I'm going to take you on even more.’  

“So, I really embrace it and for me, when I do get hit, it's kind of like, is that all you got? You ain't putting me to sleep. I've been through worse.” 

Delivering a KO 

“In the moment I feel like, when the bell hasn't rung and I'm in the middle of the fight, I've knocked them down, it's like, ‘yes, I've done it. I've completed it.’ That's how it feels.  

“But then, once that bout’s finished, or the ref’s called it, I pick them up. They're still human beings, you know.  

“It's the sport when I’m in the game, but as soon as the bout’s finished, we’re human, they're people. I still love them. I'll still pick them up.  

“Because this is what I enjoy, but also, I still treat them, and respect them, as people.” 

Not using anger to fight 

“[Anger is] not useful because when you’re angry, you tense. You’re stiff. You lock.  

“With me, when I'm angry, I'll lock up, and then I've gotta retrain myself to relax, be calm.  

“And that's why you have training. You gotta do all your mistakes in training and not be afraid to fail because failing it isn't a bad thing.  

“It's actually a positive light because without the failing you can’t grow.” 

More belts 

“Oh, don’t worry. I will have them. I know I will. I believe in myself. And it doesn't matter how I fall; I'll just get back up and I'll keep going until I've got them.  

“Because there's no limit to me.”