How do we search for something we’ve never seen? The last episode of the series sees the Arif whānau reflect on their years in Aotearoa and dream of a better future.
Mayssaa and her husband Mahmud laughing during an interview at their home in Kirikiriroa Photo: Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu
The Arif whānau settled in Kirikiriroa in the 1990s. Dad Mahmud is originally from Iraq, with Turkish heritage, and his wife Mayssaa is Syrian and Egyptian.
Their daughter Shayma’a is one of six children, and joins them on the last episode of the series. Shayma’a lives and works in Te Whanganui-a-Tara as a human rights lawyer. Mahmud recently retired and Mayssaa volunteers in many capacities, working with the refugee community and supporting the local Arab community in Waikato.
Mayssaa Sheik Al Ard takes a picture in her home Photo: Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu
This episode dives into feelings of loss that can be hard to define or give voice to, particularly the loss of home. The family discuss being unable to visit either Iraq or Syria - Iraq because of Mahmud’s family’s background in politics, and Syria because of the ongoing war and humanitarian crisis.
Mayssaa and her husband Mahmud get interviewed in their living room Photo: Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu
Shayma’a pins down one thing about separation from home which she has found particularly unsettling, saying, “I feel like I really wanted to see Syria, but now it’s too late.
"I see all these white people going there all the time. I always see on YouTube all these Europeans going to Syria and visiting, even during the war, but they’re fine and they enjoy it. This is what I get really sad about. How come they get to go back to our homelands and enjoy our countries, but we’re not allowed to go and enjoy our own countries?”
Mahmud plays a game with his youngest daughter Photo: Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu
Mahmud initially came to Aotearoa as a skilled migrant with years of experience as a dermatologist, but according to New Zealand’s laws around doctors with foreign licences practising here, was unable to work in the field he specialises in.
For the last 12 years, he has been travelling back and forth from Aotearoa to the United Arab Emirates, working as a dermatologist there and returning to be with whānau here when he can. The fractured living and working environment and disruption to his family life has not been easy for Mahmud.
“I’m not regretting coming here, but I’m disappointed,” he says.
Mayssaa recording her radio show at Free FM Photo: Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu
Mayssa and Mahmud have their two youngest daughters still living with them in Kirikiriroa, and now that Mahmud is retired, they hope he is able to spend more time with his whānau.
In this last episode of Conversations with My Immigrant Parents, the discussion explores how differently immigrants and refugees experience Aotearoa, displacement, grief, having children, and kittens.
Series Classification: G (General Audiences)
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(L-R) Podcast hosts Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu. Photo: Saraid de Silva / Julie Zhu
Conversations with My Immigrant Parents is a podcast and video series hosted, produced, and directed by Saraid de Silva and Julie Zhu.
Saraid de Silva is a Sri Lankan/Pākehā actor and writer. Her work deals with contemporary feminism and the realities of being a first-generation South Asian New Zealander.
Born in China, Julie Zhu is a filmmaker, photographer, and storyteller focused on championing the stories and voices of marginalised identities.
| Twitter: @saraiddesilva & @juliezhuu | Instagram: @convoswithmy | Facebook: whereareyoufromreally |
Photo: RNZ/NZ On Air
