Emily Writes hopes her new collection of true parenting stories Is It Bedtime Yet? will unite people who have different ways of raising kids.
The diverse stories come from contributors to popular parenting site The Spinoff Parents, which is edited by the Wellington blogger and mum of two.
The Wellington writer known as 'Emily Writes' with her son Photo: Facebook / Emily Writes
Is It Bedtime Yet? is definitely not a guidebook, Emily says.
After five years without sleep, she's not a great believer in those.
"I have every book on sleep that there is on my bedside table and none of them has helped my children sleep through the night.
"I kind of think if anybody had actually worked that out there'd only be one book instead of 2000."
The toll that sleep deprivation can take on a family is something every parent knows about but not many talk about, she says.
It was once a source of shame for Emily and her partner.
"We couldn't tell everybody we were only getting 45 minutes sleep a night. Because you feel like it's your fault, everybody else thinks it's your fault."
Mothers face a lot of judgement, she says.
"They have to be home with their children but not too long, they have to go to work but not be 'working mothers' … There's really no way for them to win. If the children have a hard day out and they're at a cafe then they have every person scowling at them rather than giving them a smile and saying 'You must be having a hard day'. It's a very isolating job.'
The Wellington author known as Emily Writes. Photo: Chris Tse
Emily has described mums' groups on Facebook as a vortex to hell.
She suspects it is fear of other people's judgement that leads some mothers to "get in first with the judgement" in those "very strange" forums.
"I sometimes wonder if [these women] think 'If I just follow all of these rules and make sure these other mothers know what the rules are then I'll somehow be protected."
Emily hopes Is It Bedtime Yet? will help parents feel less lonely.
"This is parenting, these astonishingly high highs and these really deep lows. Everybody is doing it together but kind of invisibly. I would like to bring down those walls in any way that I can by saying let's all see that we're doing it together."
But in inimitable Emily Writes style, the book is full of humour, including confessions from the parents and unconventional tips.
Confessions: "On more than one occasion I have helped my son search for his chocolate ... that I ate."
"I've told people that my kids have nits just so I don't have to go see them."
Tips: "Tell your kids that monsters live in a messy rooms but don't like clean ones."
"Pretend to time your kids to get them to bring you stuff. See if they can beat their fake previous record."
Emily Writes blogs at Rants in the Dark, which is also the title of her first book.
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