17 Oct 2024

The tragic real life story behind Netflix's Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare

7:56 am on 17 October 2024
Kirat Assi fell victim to an elaborate catfishing scheme that lasted eight years.

Kirat Assi fell victim to an elaborate catfishing scheme that lasted eight years and involved nearly 60 false identities. Photo: Netflix

This story contains spoilers.

In 2018, Kirat Assi's entire world came crashing down after learning the man she had been in a relationship with for nearly a decade never really existed.

Kirat was the victim of an elaborate catfishing scheme, which lasted eight years and involved nearly 60 false identities.

In 2021, her story became the subject of a gripping true-crime podcast, Tortoise Media's Sweet Bobby. Now, Netflix is bringing the disturbing story to screens, with Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare having dropped on the streaming platform on Wednesday.

The true story of Sweet Bobby

In 2009, Kirat received a friend request that changed her life forever. It was from Bobby Jandu, a handsome cardiologist living in New York with a handful of mutual friends.

The pair got to talking and developed a close friendship, which eventually bloomed into a romantic relationship. For years, they spent their days as many long-distance couples do - staying up on the phone all night, texting all day, and dreaming of the day they could one day share their lives together.

The difference here was that day was never going to come.

In 2009, Kiran received a friend request that would turn her life upside down.

In 2009, Kirat received a friend request that would turn her life upside down. Photo: Netflix

Every time Kirat scheduled a visit, Bobby would disappear and communication would become sporadic. But he would always return with a list of dramatic reasons for why they couldn't meet.

He was in witness protection and video calls were against the rules. He was suffering health conditions, and might be put in an induced coma or life support. He didn't want her to see him unwell.

Kirat had become Bobby's emotional crutch, forever concerned for his wellbeing but never being allowed to help. She'd even connected with a whole network of his friends and family online, who verified each of his life events and illnesses. There was never anything to be suspicious of.

Bobby always had a host of medical reasons for why the pair could never meet in person.

Bobby always had a host of medical reasons for why the pair could never meet in person. Photo: Netflix

As their relationship grew, Bobby's behaviour became more manipulative and controlling. He would tell her what to wear and how to act, and even began feeding her lies about the other relationships in her life. Despite never meeting in person, Kirat felt completely bound to him.

Towards the tail end of the 2010s, something in Kirat changed. She was now in her mid 30s, longing to build a life with Bobby. She wanted to get married and have children.

It just didn't make sense, how after eight years together, the pair had never met each other face to face.

Kirat and Bobby spent their days as many long-distance couples do: staying up on the phone all night and texting all day.

Kirat and Bobby had planned a life together, despite never having met in person. Photo: Netflix

The shocking discovery

In 2018, Kirat uncovered the shocking truth. Bobby was a real person living in Brighton, England, but he wasn't the man Kirat had poured her hopes and dreams into. He was a normal man, with no medical ailments, whose identity had been stolen by a scammer.

He'd never met or spoken to Kirat in his life.

And the person behind the elaborate decade-long catfishing scam? Kirat's own cousin, Simran Bhogal.

Bobby is a real life doctor living in Brighton, England - but he's not the man Kirat was in a relationship with.

Bobby is a real life doctor living in Brighton, England - but he's not the man Kirat was in a relationship with. Photo: Netflix

Simran had created a fake profile for Bobby in 2009, alongside an entire network of characters that could corroborate his identity. For eight years, she had orchestrated a web of lies that controlled and manipulated Kirat's entire life.

The original Sweet Bobby podcast reveals little about the aftermath of it all - little is known about Simran's identity or motivations, and while Kirat sought legal recourse, it proved difficult, with catfishing and emotional manipulation not falling under clear legal categories.

The Sweet Bobby story remains one of the longest-running and most complex cases of catfishing to date.

The Netflix documentary Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is available to stream now.

Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero, a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.

Get the RNZ app

for ad-free news and current affairs