Parents, what is bad sideline behaviour for kids sport?

If you're a parent who has ever attended your kids' sports meets, you've probably felt a range of emotions: joy, pride, excitement and possibly bewilderment or even rage at the ref's call or coach's strategy.

Sideline abuse is on the rise, with more than 60 percent of coaches and referees in Auckland reporting inappropriate behaviour at least once or twice a season. That's why a group of Auckland sports organisations are banding together to launch the Love Their Game campaign to encourage parents to be positive rather than negative for their children.

"I'm all behind sport, and especially in rugby, in how people can remain passionate about the game and sometimes that passion goes a little too far," rugby referee Ben O'Keeffe told Jesse Mulligan from RNZ's Afternoons.

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"As a referee myself, I've had a fair amount of experience with [abuse] and it is not just me, it is a lot of refs at all levels who are wanting us to change the dynamic about what people are doing on the sideline," says O'Keeffe.

Half of kids who play sports stop at around age 11. Poor behaviour from parents is a key driver of that, according to the campaign.

Almost two-thirds of parents say they have witnessed inappropriate sideline behaviour at least once or twice a season, according to a 2016 New Zealand study. The study looked at netball, rugby union, football and touch rugby.

The inappropriate behaviour included verbal abuse directed at referees and other match officials as well as coaches and children. Ten respondents witnessed physical confrontations.

Auckland FC midfielder Jake Brimmer is the father of five and three-year-old girls. The older one recently started playing a sport, so he has committed to not being that parent who pressures their kid to be involved or to blitz the field.

"I enjoyed the game purely because there was no pressure on me to enjoy it. I know some kids who don't play anymore because of the pressure."

When he is playing and the referee makes a call he doesn't like, Brimmer tries to remember the referee is just another human doing their job.

Mark Tully, the director of football at Auckland's Bay Olympic Football Club, remembers when his kids were young he saw their games through a single lens that only focused on his kids. Other parents are the same.

"Over time I taught myself to be a lot more quiet and just watch on the sidelines."

Tully often sees parents policing each other. If one gets hot-headed, others might suggest they walk away and take some time to cool off.

"If you feel that you are going to be that way, maybe watch from 50 metres up the hill or move away from people. Just simple things that can be done."

The manager of an Auckland rugby club who didn't want to be named because sideline behaviour can be contentious, said parents encouraging their kids with overly violent language was unacceptable.

"When that encouragement starts to portray 'Smash them,' 'Tackle his head off,' 'Destroy them,' those sorts of things, that is when it has crossed the line for me."

Even though the campaign focuses on Auckland, it's a nationwide problem, said Nina Papadopoulos, the club secretary of Wellington Olympic AFC. It's New Zealand's only Greek heritage football club.

"There is absolutely zero tolerance for talking back to refs, to talking back to other parents on the sideline. Our parents pretty quickly get shot down."

Ten years ago, a player swore at a referee - in Greek - and was quickly suspended by the club.

"We do have in our policy: any child or parent that curses an official or a parent on the sidelines, they have to leave the field."