Me, but better: A woman's quest to change her personality

Starting as an experiment for The Atlantic, journalist Olga Khazan tested whether an introvert can learn to be more comfortable in social situations and if a procrastinator can be more productive.

Her new book, Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change, documents her findings.

There are five main personality traits, she tells RNZ’s Afternoons; openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, outgoing agreeableness and neuroticism.

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Her aim was to reduce her neurotic tendencies, she said.

“I wanted to rekindle social interactions and relationships. I wanted to get out there more and meet new people. And I also wanted to be less anxious about everything. I wanted to take things in my stride more.”

When she dove into her own personality upgrade experiment, she wasn’t sure if it would work.

“I really tried to be open to anything happening. And the stuff that I did was so wild for me, like it was so out of character, it was so completely against my nature, that I just literally didn't know what was gonna happen.

“Like I did an improv class, which is just so not something I would do, I was like, if it's possible to die of embarrassment that might happen to me.”

Nevertheless, the experience left her feeling energised, she said. She also joined a sailing group and attended meetup groups.

“Meetup is the site where you kind of hang out with strangers. So, I just talked to lots and lots and lots of strangers while going on these really long hikes around DC, where I live.”

There is an element of fake it till you make it in all this, she said.

“It feels really unnatural at first, it feels uncomfortable and like this isn't just your new personality, this is you acting in this really strange way.

“But the thing is, after you do this enough, after you get enough practice doing something, it does become natural. It does become part of your personality, and to the point where you don't really notice yourself doing it anymore.”

So have the personality changes stuck with her? She’s less introverted, she said.

“I just have a very different approach to my life now where I do seek out people and social connection more than I used to.

“When I'm feeling low or down in the dumps now, I don't try to spend more time by myself. I reach out to other people because I know that that will make me happier in the long run.”