It Takes A Village

Nine to Noon's Kathryn Ryan interviews parenting experts to help you navigate the trends, trials & tough calls of modern family life.

Hosted by Kathryn Ryan

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Bossy eldest, creative second: does birth order matter?

If you're the eldest child, the stereotype would have us believe you're responsible, conscientious and a bit bossy. Second born - more chilled out and creative and the youngest? Spoilt! But does birth order really influence personality? The evidence is not really there, says neuroscience educator Nathan Wallis, and personality is more to do with the circumstances into which we are born.
siblings

How children develop memories and understand time

If you've ever asked a young child how their day was, you might have got a couple of responses - either a blank stare, or a list of every single thing that had happened to them that day. Judith Hudson studies memory development in children and the development of children's understanding of time. Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University in New Jersey, she says the way parents interact and talk to their children helps develop the child's memory for the past, and their ability to think about and plan for future events.
Baby hands holding white alarm clock on light blue table background. Pastel color. Time concept. Closeup. Point of view shot. Top down view.

'He's just lazy': What not to say about a child's speech and

Speech and Language Therapist Christian Wright on what NOT to say to parents concerned about their child's speech and language development. And he'll share strategies for dealing with these questions if they do arise.
Toddler listening

Parenting: New podcast aims to help keep disabled kids safe

A new podcast that's helping parents of disabled children navigate the tricky issues of sexuality, sex and sexual harm. The Courage Club brings parents of medically disabled or neuro-divergent kids together with experts over five episodes, seeking to encourage conversations that might normally be taboo or down the pecking order in terms of things to worry about. It's designed as a resource to help keep disabled kids safe. Kathryn is joined by Emily Writes, the Courage Club's host and mother to two high needs children. Also with me is Kathryn McPhillips, from Help - an organisation that supports Aucklanders who have been sexually abused and is one of the podcast's partners.
Emily Writes and the Courage Club logo

How to be an emotion coach for your teen

Getting "jollied along" by a parent won't help an upset teenager learn how to deal with their own difficult feelings, says clinical psychologist Zara Mansoor. "One thing that's really challenging for parents - or just adults - is we want to get in, we want to fix things, we want to make things better. Actually, the most powerful thing we can often do is just sit with and keep ourselves calm," she tells Kathryn Ryan.
A teenager in the sun wearing sunglasses

Parenting: conversations about sextortion and online grooming

Sextortion, kids being groomed online, nudes being sent around kids, who should be blamed for that? Sex therapist Jo Robertson has advice about how to have those tricky chats with children and teens.
A photo of a young Girl In Bedroom Worried by what she's looking at on her phone

Re-thinking the 'career conversation' with teens

If you ever ask a teenager what they're going to do after high school, you may notice them recoil. For many students in their final years of school this is an anxiety-inducing question. Career Coach Tracey Beard says that if we really want to help, we need to re-think 'the career conversation'. Tracey is the CEO, what she calls 'the chief encouragement officer', at Career Matters, a coaching service for students and caregivers.
Mother and daughter in warm clothing walking on winter ocean beach. (Photo by CAIA IMAGE/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY / NEW / Science Photo Library via AFP)

Parenting: Harmonious grandparenting

Bestselling author and psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg talks to Kathryn about creating and fostering the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Throughout time it has been a special relationship, but as lives get busier, retirement age stretches out and technology absorbs children - we're looking at key ways to navigate the complexities of connecting and staying in touch. Dr Carr-Gregg's latest book Grandparents - is a practical guide to navigating being a Nana or Grandad.
[New Mexico, United States] A teenage girl having a conversation with her grandfather (Photo by Mint Images / Mint Images / Mint Images via AFP)

Parenting adult children, how roles change

Parents often say they never stop worrying about their offspring. But how does parenting change as your children become adults? Are today's adult children more dependent on their elders for longer? What is the roadmap for parents here? Neuroplasticity educator and parenting expert, father and grandfather, Nathan Wallis joins Kathryn.
Mother with adult son

Helping your kids do their best in exams

When a teen lacks confidence in studying for their exams, a "leadership nudge" from a supportive parent becomes essential, says parenting coach Joseph Driessen.
A hand holding a pen hovers over paper with a mug in the background

Navigating the tween years

Tweens may pull out "teenager moves" but they are not the new teenagers, says parenting educator Michelle Mitchell. As nine-to-twelve-year-olds learn how to respond to the world, they need strong guidance and supervision, she tells Kathryn Ryan. "They're very much looking to adults to give them practical tangible strategies to get them through the day."
girl in braces laughing

Parenting: Teaching Te Reo Maori in schools

Mohamed Alansari, senior researcher for the New Zealand Council for Educational Research joins Kathryn to talk about how to improve outcomes for growing Te Reo Maori in schools. Which schools are doing it well - and what practices could other schools learn from them? He highlights research from a new report.
Olivia Allison

Parenting: language development of pre-schoolers

Speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks to Kathryn about what parents can do to stimulate pre-schoolers language development. We'll also look at how to identify when there might be delays in development.

Learning to de-escalate tantrums and other challenging behaviour

Are you struggling with your child's tantrums? Michael Hempseed is encouraging parents to rethink tantrums and anger, and instead of punishing a child for lashing out, he says it's vital to understand the root cause of the behaviour. Michael Hempseed is the director of Frontiers of Hope, a specialist mental health service in Christchurch, and has worked with Dame Sue Bagshaw for many years at Te Tahi Youth, the youth health centre that she founded. Together they have written Calming Your Child: De-escalating Tantrums, Anxiety, Aggression and Other Challenging Behaviours. Kathryn talks to Michael about their tips for de-escalating tantrums, as well as exploring the possible causes behind problem-behaviour, such as anxiety, sensory processing issues, ADHD, and autism
Upset child

Parenting: How to limit time on devices

Susie discusses the the thorny issue of limiting screentime for children with Dave Atkinson from the Parenting Place, and how do deal with the fallout from that.
Mother and her daughter using video chat on tablet at home. Space for text